Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the first day of our honeymoon. My bride just informed me that she invited her ex-husband to come, so he can spend time with the kids. He will be here in 4 hours. FML
Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML
Today, after we recently married, my husband wanted kids and I didn’t, so we agreed we’d have at least 5 years child free, then have one child and one only. I just tested pregnant. Despite all our precautions, I actually got pregnant on our honeymoon. FML
Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML
Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML
Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML
Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML
Today, it's one day away from my wedding and two days away from our honeymoon trip. Today is also the day that, after dodging it for two years, I got Covid. FML
Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
Today, at 36 years-old, I will be leaving to go on my first ever vacation. Aunt Flo held off until yesterday so she could come with me, and she's BAD this month. We were planning on going to the beach. FML
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Top comments
Lounia_fml 8
how does she deserve this? xD Like really. YDI for being a woman, YDI for leaving your kids.. I wonder what stupid excuses will come up for YDI xD
Anderling 33
That sucks. Mother nature is awful. Hope things'll look up soon.
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Comments (285)
ForWhatItsWorth 0
Ahhh... messy.. some people seem to like that though :P I suppose love doesn't have to be physical x)
easylazy 0
at least you didnt get it 6 days early
Jae87 0
How would that be worse?
humorizer 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm a little confused here. I mean she said it was her honeymoon, which I think suggests that she was married the day before, right? (I think that's what a honeymoon implies, yeah?) Anyhow, she said she had 3 kids, right? Alright then, so here's what confuses me... They most likely didn't commit fornication, since fornication is a sin, and marriage is a holy act. So people that have sex out of marriage obviously aren't going to suddenly turn religious and marry... I suppose the only way this story would make sense is if the kids are from a previous marriage?
amy397123 0
Hey #161, STFU. Nobody cares about all your religious bullcrap.
Templemind47 0
Yeah, because everyone believes in the bearded man up in the sky who listens to everyone, but does not actually listen. Guess what, I had sex already and I was not even dating the girl, guess that pokes a huge hole in your myth.
Finnboghi 0
Fail troll is fail.
humorizer 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't believe in a bearded man, buddy. That's idol worship in my opinion to assume we know what He looks like (and I use that pronoun in a generic non-gender designation)... But yeah, this still doesn't answer my question. Oh well. I'll just have to assume I'm correct about the prior marriage.
ForWhatItsWorth 0
If the kids are theirs, they were at it for a long time before the honeymoon, I'm assuming that they wanted some time alone to go at it without the risk of one of the kids interfeering.
janie197 0
Just because you have children out of marriage doesn't mean you don't still want to eventually get married...
More_Nonsense 0
Sorry, but not everyone shares your beliefs. This may come as a shock to you, but people have pre-marital sex all the time. In fact, I think that only 5 to 10 percent of people abstain completely from sex before getting married. Besides, everyone has sinned at least once. It's a part of life. Personally, I don't care about going to Hell -- I'm just happy that I'll have some company.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
people have sex out of marriage all the time. youre an idiot to think that children can only happen in a marriage.
minimazzi 0
yea..... in order for it to have been on her wedding day, she would have had to have gotten it 8 days early. count it out on your fingers.
tedmanson 0
if the river runs red, take the dirt track
audiogasmic 0
wow you're a ******* moron, #166. seriously. maybe the kids were from a previous marriage but i don't see why any of this has to have any religious connotation. maybe they adopted, or went a little crazy before getting hitched? the circumstances aren't explained so stop making stupid religious based assumptions when no religious circumstances were ever noted. secondly, to the OP, that really sucks but hopefully you dont' get 9 day periods...you'll probably still have time to do it just not as much as you'd like.
patray_angel 0
Ya know, gasp, it is physically possible to have sex before marriage right? It is hard to say if the kids are from a previous marriage or not, but who cares because that isn't the point of the FML. The point was, they wanted to enjoy their honeymoon away from the kids and do what most people do on their honeymoon. To the OP, there is always the shower......
cblovesjm 0
seriously the point was she got her period and couldnt have sex so quit billshitting details asshole
Jenny444_fml 0
OMG Have you people actually tough about them renewing their vows??? They do have honeymoons after that too..
jazziue 0
how does that change anything ikmow some people who actually like that as gross as it sounds
mjk555 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you are right this is a sin but nowdays ppl dont care about religion but its not now they will suffer.
redtigerlily 5
People don't get married for religious purposes anymore
mackenzie2323 5
The people commenting this are sad, lol. What if they couldn't afford a honeymoon when they first got married and have been saving for years to go on the perfect one? Sometime after their wedding and before they saved enough they could have had their children
ohcrap007 1
I think u mean 166 but I agree
lustheart 7
170-woah we got a badass over here, watch out!
blushy 14
shouln't have stopped you
aem2188 3
That would be 8 days early.
gizmo_987 0
I feel pretty bad for you, hopefully things get better?
Anderling 33
That sucks. Mother nature is awful. Hope things'll look up soon.
spiffles 0
I'm so sorry...I concur, mother nature is horrible.
xstaticdelta 6
LOL that sucks but still funny
jumpgurl23 0
#5 im right there with u...
metalboxzes 0
Hmm... No sexy time for you? :(
SeventhFonons 0
I seem to be getting my period late this month... Let's trade? x3;
ZuRG_fml 7
You don't even need to plan, you can just skip placebo week to go without a period (on a monophasic pill).
aback 5
Oh right. Saying "U rul3!" to a couple with 3 kids who can just now afford a honeymoon consisting of skanking around in "random hotel rooms" is the very height of compassion. That'll do much more for them than babysitting, making their car payment or buying a box of condoms will ever do. I'm sure they'll post again specifically to thank y'all. Buttwipe. :D
loto_fml 3
She got it 7 days early... how is she supposed to PLAN that? Maybe the stress caused BTB.
nikki1001 0
Saaaame here! My bf loves it cause of the horniness. Though he won't eat me out at all on my period but uh...I think that's kind of weird anyway.
sjx 0
...or maybe she doesn't use the pill?
my_fml_account 2
Sounds like you didnt plan your pill correctly
ZuRG_fml 7
it's straightforward to prevent on the pill, all you need is a 60-day supply and advance notice of starting the period before your honeymoon
loto_fml 3
#8- Water only stops the bleeding is she is submerged in it because of the pressure. She can't do this in a regular shower. #67- Not all women can successfully skip their period on the pill. It can work once, but not again. I say this from experience and great amounts of research.
Blue_Coconuts 7
Gotta get your red wings one day. But seriously, shower, bath, anything like that... And tell him not to be such a wuss about it.
blahdeda 0
Dude, she's not complaining about her kids..she and her husband just don't have alone time when they have to take care of the kids 24/7. And she's not complaining about her period in general either, just the timing. It definitely sucks.
dearladydisdain 0
srsly. i can't believe there are still so many people squicked out by it. i'm not, and neither is my bf, and it's great. (also, to the pill people? some of us don't want to pump our bodies full of hormones just because a doctor says to, kthnx. the pill can be helpful in some cases but many people take it without doing the research, which can cause a lot of problems.)
picaru 4
Bingo! This coming from the stepdaughter, who owns this account. One kid is from a previous marriage, and the other belongs to the two of them. They've been together for years now, but only decided to get married recently. :P
lmmmr 0
#67- That is irrelevant as she stated that her period was not expected. It was supposed to come the week after the honeymoon. There is absolutely no way she could have suspected it would arrive early, and there is absolutely no way she could deserve it.
organismal 0
i'm fairly sure that water doesn't actually stop the flow when you're swimming and all, it just dissipates really quickly into the water since it's a tiny amount of blood.
maggiewalters 17
"tiny" amount of blood? you're a man, right?
hahathatsaJoke 0
I bet it was mostly men who clicked You deserved that one.
kiwistrwbry08 0
I agree, it's selfish if you don't have a secure situation for them, but we don't really know her situation. There are such things as common-law marriages, and for all we know, that's the case. But, I do agree that if things are unstable, it's selfish to bring a child into the world. Hopefully that wasn't the case here.
Caayouteepie 0
how does she deserve it for being a woman...? dumbasss.
jnic 0
Hey dumbass, how about you develop some girl parts, take hormonal birth control and tell us how fun it is to adjust to it? Hm, perhaps women just don't like the side effects or maybe they have medical conditions? Oh right... that DOES happen! I can tell you that. Antithrombin deficiency means pill for me = blood clot guaranteed. After watching my mother screaming and crying and immobilized from the pain and puking up vicodin from a blood clot a couple of winters ago... yeah, I don't think anyone demanding that I go on "birth control, bitch" is going to get what they want. Hope you enjoy your lack of blow jobs. Grow a pair... of ovaries. I would've been nice about informing you if you hadn't been a douche.
emelia_fml 0
@#67: I hate to burst your bubble but when you have 3 kids you're highly unlikely to still be on the pill. There are intra-uterine devices you can insert, and no, you can't "plan them" to control your cycle.
xstaticdelta 6
#124 I bet I ****** ur mom
haxromana 2
@110 - During your entire period you lose something like ten tablespoons of fluid, and only something like three of it is blood...so yeah, tiny. I mean, he's wrong about the water thing, but really, how much bleeding are you actually doing during the 20 minutes that you're in the bathtub? Not much.
LebChickOnFira 0
#110 LOLL jokes
rafty4life 3
Shower? at least for the first couple days, once it slows down, its just a bit of blood. :P But yeah, very inconvenient.
sharkwkrox 0
YOUR PICTURE IS A WIN.
elloxnattie 0
gaahhh that's so sad. FYL. maybe sex in the shower? because water stops the flow. just a thought(:
IphaiLyf 0
lol you read my mind! if two couples are determined to have a good time.. a lil blood wont hurt anybody. Besides.. i heard that it's healthier.. :D
JRodriguez1012 0
Agreed #94, I don't see what's so bad about blood.
Lounia_fml 8
how does she deserve this? xD Like really. YDI for being a woman, YDI for leaving your kids.. I wonder what stupid excuses will come up for YDI xD
manoverboard 0
I moderated this. ^___^ Seriously, that sucks. Well...at least you're not pregnant?