Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML
Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Today, I made it onto my boss's shit-list, after pointing out that he'd misspelled "customer" as "costumer" 6 times in his report, and "college education" as "collage education" twice. It'd be a dick move on his part even if making corrections like this weren't part of my damn job. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
That guys a dochebag... No wait, doucheebag... I mean douhebag... Doushbag? **** it.
FunkyAndFresh 7
What a douche.
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Comments (103)
a1f0sff 25
Major fail!!
K_kanaka 26
God, if your gonna pull a prank like that at least spell the fucken words right.
a1f0sff 25
Yeah, they're just going to embarrass themselves.
DooleyFTW 17
God if you're going to make a comment about spelling words correctly at least don't say "fucken".
PYLrulz 17
27 - agreed, especially since there isn't a word filter in FML
ss_20_xx 14
27, I couldn't agree more.
firecopy 6
It is a joke.- 27
DooleyFTW 17
You give too much credit 43
SmallyBigs 9
OP needs to stop being a Dooshbag.
VoIdemort 0
Doochebag. Doshbahg. Dochébag. Ducheba-- **** this, I'll be a stripper.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
It seems like the guy who tried writing on your locker should have been the one writing this FML.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Fail-person: "Dushebag? No... Duchbag? Dammit... Dushchbag? Shit! Duchshbag? **** this shit."
copy125 0
I wouldn't be offended at all by that, just because the fact that the person who's calling you a douche bag, is a complete dumbass
XxDancerGirlxX 17
You don't say?!
darkangel4012 0
Voldemort is a stripper? I KNEW IT!
DontClickOnMe 28
Well I'm guessing you saw who it was and now you know what they think of you. Sounds like it's time for revenge. >:)
RahmEsHestos 5
OP came to work and when in the locker room saw that someone had tried to write douche bag on his locker... He never said anything about seeing who it was
DCFan 9
Her*. She*.
MikeDa1Da 14
Hershey*.
zachherbert 10
49-....well played, well played -.-
FunkyAndFresh 7
What a douche.
evaki1 12
I believe you mean what a doosch
Pebbles89 9
*doosh. :p Or Le douschebaggeerrrr :D
firefighterjohn 9
at least they are done writing stuff on your locker
danielreader22 4
Yeah after writing 'dooshbag' on it four times. Wait...
ollie179 21
That guys a dochebag... No wait, doucheebag... I mean douhebag... Doushbag? **** it.
Pebbles89 9
"Doosh" in Russian means shower. LOL! I love my heritage! :D
anencephalic 14
Had you been a little more educated within the subject (etymology), then you would've known that douche is French for shower and actually means to undergo some form of hygienic process involving water - but I understand its usage is not excessively common - in English as well. Though OPs new-found nemesis most definitely meant the slang.
rotflqtms_ 21
Ok, and the word douche in French is also shower... But for English speakers, the douche bag is used for squirting water into a body cavity, usually a vaginal body cavity, but sometimes it's used as an enema (anally with a different nozzle attachment)... like a shower for down there, so yeah, it works out that the word translates to shower, because... It kind of is a shower...for a body cavity
rotflqtms_ 21
My comment was meant for #8, not #14. I just took too long to type it...
TexasJosh 0
Would have just been easier to tell people to stop arguing and google it. Just a thought.
rotflqtms_ 21
but some people are too lazy to google...
Friendzonian 0
Well said. Some peapole just nede to lern too spel
Pebbles89 9
You people are SO smart! Good job. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/???
loserboii 11
That's not an fml, that's something you put on facebook and blast them. This one is ******* hilarious
Stallion91 6
In Russia, the locker writes douchee...dooch...doooshe......……
DKParth13 5
In america we write shower!
anencephalic 14
Apparently, you pissed someone off. However, you really don't have to worry, the culprit is too stupid to be able to actually harm you.
macdaddymady 8
How is this an FML, wouldn't it be the other way around since they're the ones who can't spell?
RahmEsHestos 5
I've thought this a few times for a variety of different fmls
WeAreAHurricane 14
Ya but then they would have to write the FML....and well, there's some people autocorrect can do nothing for.
mega20913 8
don't worry...they're obviously a dumbass
fsimmo 0
Doucche Douse Dousse Duse Aw forget it Lmao