Today, while DJing at a jumpin' wedding reception, my speaker system conked out. I hadn't brought any backup equipment, and 500 guests had the unfortunate luxury of dancing to the sounds of a portable CD player someone brought in from their car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML
Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML
Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announced over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML
Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML
Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML
Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
Today, I was at a karaoke bar. After a few drinks, I gave it a go. Halfway through “Total Eclipse of the Heart” I got so into it, I knocked over the mic stand. The mic flew off, hit the DJ, who then hit the emergency stop button, cutting off the music. I froze as the bar erupted into laughter. I did get a free Coke for my “performance,” which was something. FML
Today, I was at my friend's birthday party, dancing barefoot because my feet hurt from my shoes' heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML
Today, at a wedding reception, on a crowded dance floor, it was a perfect opportunity for a candid photo. I took one step back without looking and bumped straight into the cake table, then watched in slow motion as the entire cake tipped and slid off. FML
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Top comments
evaki1 12
Jumpin' wedding? What is that?
somewizdom 15
I should call you if my ex decides to get married.
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Comments (114)
evaki1 12
Jumpin' wedding? What is that?
iamyummylicious 14
A jumping themed wedding where its mandatory that everyone jumps. Instead of throwing a boquet of flowers, the last single lady left standing (jumping) wins (will be married next) :)
TylerBurden 21
Sounds legit haha
ComTlancy 12
Don't jump to conclusions.
whatwhyhoo 10
Sounds stupid but then again, I think marriage is stupid.
iamyummylicious 14
You didn't take my response or Evaki's comment seriously did you? And what's wrong with the institution of marriage. If its sooooo stupid, then why are millions of gays fighting for the right to perform it? Why did whites and blacks fight for it? There are also over a thousand rights/benefits for marriages in addition the companionship/love.
brianjman14 23
I agree with 1. What the hell does "jumpin'" mean?
VoIdemort 0
By jumping, I think OP meant that they were "jamming" or "dancing" to music like "hipsters." I will never understand the muggle realm.
eatdemcupcakes 4
Oh no one will ever understand hipsters my dark lord, but muggles are things we can live without. Filthy aren't they? "Jumping" and "conked out" haven't been heard since the 80s......
wisese 0
I'm sorry, but nobody says "jumping", not even hipsters.
fi3ldhock3ybab33 8
He's Canadian... What do you expect?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Why are you all jumpin' on the bandwagon?
annoytanor 1
Hello shelly
a1f0sff 25
Should always check your stuff. Better luck next time!
ALlamaOnFire 20
More like f their lives
nadyy14 8
Talk about bad luck :/
xcarxcrashx 9
You worked a 500 guest wedding and brought no backup? Weddings are no joke, people take that shit seriously. Next time BRING BACKUP!!
MrUnicorn 3
Jumpin'? Conked? ._.
anonymous100000 17
OP, remind me to never hire you ax the dj at my wedding. YDI.
PiXiq111 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for saying "Jumpin' ".
Teabubbles 8
YDI for trying to be cool.
Eila1996 5
Haha well that sucks!
EmilieAutumn 7
You'll be hearing the complaints from your boss soon enough
Crimsos 4
Don't drop the bass so hard.
everett0826 0
WOWOOOOBBWOOOBBBPWWWWWOOWW My imitation of dubstep.
stevenJB 25
*plays factory noise with an elementary school on fire in background* my imitation of dubstep
Fruitmonster2 15
*with burning screaming rabbits running out of said school* Family Guy anyone? :D
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Lady Gaga is to Madonna, as Skrillex is to the dial-up modem.
Spooj 3
Speaker systems really only "conk out" when you buy crappy equipment from guitar center, have no idea what you are doing, or don't take care of your gear. Take this as a learning experience. QSC K12s are a good value for the money (not as good as Meyer, KV2, EAW, turbo sound, l'acoustics, or nexo), just avoid the K Sub at all costs. If you have a separate amp, make sure it is at least 1.5 times as powerful as your speakers need. Overdriving the amp is a good way to blow your speakers fast.
Feverrotes 15
Speaking of which, it's the first time in forever I head anyone used the term "conk out." I thought that died off back in the '80s.
KMtheDrummer 6
I wonder what actually died, cuz it's not that often that a speaker or amp blows up under normal conditions. But when something does randomly die, especially DURING a gig, it's the worst thing ever... FYL OP
HannahWho 8
Everyone I know uses conked out...
somewizdom 15
I should call you if my ex decides to get married.
MzViKki 4
Lol
smartassking 0
Win xD
aleishaa_jadee 13
Well you fail at your job don't you..
HairyPunisher 27
Nothing gets by you.
koolkat27 13
you fail at trying to be funny, dont you.
aleishaa_jadee 13
I wasn't trying to be funny.. Just making a comment..
SilverGTP99 8
That sucks.
macdaddymady 8
More like f the bride's life, you ruined her special day!
trololol6969 3
Where's my cookie? I found your tumblr... :(
KuchkaNumberOne 2
I hate when people say it's the brides special day. The groom got married, too. So it's a special day for both.
tiffanynickole 8
Yeah but it's the brides special day mans special night.
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
If they aren't hardasses, they'll laugh about it later. I would, haha.
downtime 13
67, Something unexperienced and ******* amazing better happen on that wedding night then. Something equivalent to the 50 thousand dollars spent on the "brides" special day. Something tells me its just the same old sex hes had and will have for the next 50 or so years (if he's lucky).