Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
jacetopia96 1
Does not sound sexy.
Captain0bv10us 0
Excuse me for a minute, I have lost all faith in humanity
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Comments (192)
genesisnirvana 11
What the hell are you saying?
capnbzarr 43
Did you touch her first, without consent? If so, then YDI; if not, then she deserves a punch in the tit.
ibitehard 9
As a girl, I flinched when you said a punch to the tit -.- owie
4everFastpitch5 2
I flinched to girl!
seeunexttuesdays 6
112: you flinched at "girl"? What are you, 5 and still think girls have cooties?
Taylo12237 5
Pretty sure she ment 'I flinched too, girl,' comenting on the "punch to the tit"
patebishop 7
Am I the only one that feels that there is not enough information put into this FML??
HailSatan66 5
How du yu put stuf into A FML?? itz not a burrito...lololjkjkjrolfff....
BloodyDraven 0
its quite easy, you put information into an FML so that others understand what they need to about the situation
a_nutritionist 10
...this is clearly someone trolling...how do you not see that?
zekeishNOTafail 1
110 can you tell me...... What the hell is wrong with you......
fatraptorjesus13 9
mommy n daddy don't give him enough attention so he needs it and the only way ge gets it is by trolling
xXSmilezXX 7
Love hurts
Legendslayer222 26
Then again, so does hatred.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Thats why you dont touch a chicks boobs, unless of course yu ask first.
big_balla18 0
can I touch urs
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Do i uh know you? Lol
Captain0bv10us 0
Excuse me for a minute, I have lost all faith in humanity
WCARlover 35
This FML was worded so poetically!
HeyLookJesus 11
Rough translation, *clears throat* "Omg lol, Id SOOO finger if she did that to me! What a bitch, rofl xD!" Ta-da! now we can all understand what a complete idiot this commenter is :D
notouchyy 6
Submission huh? Were you two wrestling and she went for the weak spot of a man, and at the same time your spirits had been crushed because you had been beaten by a girl?
upyourzlolz 11
Shes a keeper.