Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend that I wanted to go separate ways. Before I could say anything, he proposed. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Christmas is over OP, why are you still dealing with nutcrackers?
cr3ativity 15
Shit. Another reason why I keep wearing underpants as opposed to boxers.
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Comments (83)
cr3ativity 15
Shit. Another reason why I keep wearing underpants as opposed to boxers.
shmoelover 13
If only they were as attractive as they are practical.
desoto96 9
41 Boxer briefs. Problem solved.
Shrouds 14
dont buy 5 for 10$ packs at walmart or target and actually look for decent briefs and u'll be surprised how good some look/feel
UncleMuscles 5
I got they create shirts that tuck in with attached underpants as to avoid such situations.
connormce10 12
Boxer Briefs never present me with that issue
erockinthesuburb 17
You would think that should have been a happy conversation, sans the whole ********-crushing thing...
StalkerChick 13
I think the fiancée was crying tears of joy. "Tenderly sweet discussion"
coolkitty154 11
I interpreted it as OP's fiancee crying from laughing too hard, haha.
mackdeezy 22
Christmas is over OP, why are you still dealing with nutcrackers?
Sunkistlover718 21
Some people just get wrapped up in the season, I suppose.
hawright 13
I have one really low slung ******** and this happens all the time. It hurts like hell. I feel your pain.
cr3ativity 15
Wear underpants my friend.
SoMuchSnailGame 3
same. I figured my best option was to wrap it around my leg and staple it to my quad
Shrouds 14
thats when wearing the boxers u wore back in middle school need to be upgraded. Briefs and Boxer Briefs from companies other the hanes and FotL are actually better fitting/looking. CK, CIn2 and Aussie Bum are some of my favorites
cgchamp89 7
I don't understand how you managed that... Hope your fiancée takes care of them for you.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Then you have no nuts, sir!
cgchamp89 7
You're nuts must hang low and wobble to and fro... I guess mine don't :(
TheChiver 7
Sensitive in more than one way apparently.
theslimshadylp 6
I have yet to sit on my own nuts in my short life and I hope I never do...
Krystallkitty13 1
So... Shift your position? Don't just keep sitting there?
OhzTP 7
You can't understand the duration and intensity of the pain of sitting on your testicles without having them.
rockstar362 8
Dump herrrrr!!! ***sarcastically portraying people who give such advice on other FMLs***
Zomg_Okay 27
On other FMLs, there is at least a reason for the dump comments. All OP did was sit on his own balls.
rockstar362 8
yeaaa that was quite a stretch huh
viagradoesntwork 7
Rockstar is gay
rockstar362 8
Says Viagra doesn't work LOL you use Viagra? pusssyyyyyyy. And what are you trying to say about the homosexual community?
Schizomaniac 24
Is it? Is it gay, 28? Is Rockstar emotionally or sexually attracted to other Rockstars of the same sex? So what if it is? Maybe Rockstar grew up being judged for it. Maybe Rockstar longs for acceptance and just wants to be loved, but its conservative parents tell it that it has an illness. Shame on you.
rockstar362 8
Thanks 32, to clarify the rockstar in my name is referring to the energy drink. and I am not homosexual but I definitely do support such discrimination
rockstar362 8
Do not****
RedPillSucks 33
Clearly he must dump his balls
DocBastard 40
Ah, the classic story: Boy meets girl, boy and girl discuss future, boy sits on gonads...
HowieDoIt 21
Boy and girl live happily ever after with adopted kids since he can't have his own.