Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML
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Top comments
maiden_girl 5
Wow. It seems like you have a keeper. When you're a your lowest... he didn't want to seem like he was taking advantage of you. That's sweet.
ChaosChild 0
Really I think the heartfelt meaningful conversation would be much better than sex. heaven forbid the person you wanted to simply use actually give a crap about your well being.
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Comments (49)
Finnboghi 0
#4 is right. 14-30 year old women are a dangerous group to tango with.
squigglyshark 0
14 years old and booty calls? wtf? Where were these girls when I was in highschool?
TehGirreth 0
Not with YOU.
Rainbowsareshiny 0
hahahahaha i get it, you just wanted to get laid. sigh figures a guy would do that when you don't wanna **** him, he *****. when you don't wanna talk about some meaningful life goals, he talks about meaningful life goals. oh well. it's ok. better luck next time?
Malecent 13
Or maybe it's vice-versa?
maiden_girl 5
Wow. It seems like you have a keeper. When you're a your lowest... he didn't want to seem like he was taking advantage of you. That's sweet.
commonsensex 0
I agree.
twitteraddict 0
same as 1, 2, 3
youhavenoidea 0
damn straite no.7
ChaosChild 0
Really I think the heartfelt meaningful conversation would be much better than sex. heaven forbid the person you wanted to simply use actually give a crap about your well being.
juicebahx 0
That doesn't sound like a completely bad thing, but I think I understand. Can't get mad at him for being sweet, though.
applecake 0
Hopefully you cuddled at least.
member0987654321 0
ughh i hate when you, or him don't know whether it is, or you want it to be a friendship, friends with benefits, relationship.. so damned confusing i always want a relationship with the free-est of spirits, and i want to hook up with the puppy dogish one who follows me around all day so annoying
s_t_e_p_h 0
What is wrong with that?