Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
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Top comments
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
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Comments (371)
yanksby7 6
The left hand is where you wear a wedding band. A ring on your right hand doesn't signify anything except your taste in jewelry.
hovsep1an 0
LMAO my ex did the exact same thing..that *****...
leethewrestler 0
I tell all my one night stands to do the same thing.
SteelCladAngel 0
I believe the point longing was making was that we would have gotten the idea if she had just said 'today I wore a fake wedding ring.....'
swaggintothamax 0
USA is the shit
alpaquette91 9
good idea though!!
Barney_Rubble_75 0
ha ha! after all the comments on here I'm just imagining someone in a similar situation enters a Walmart. meanwhile, the check-out lady is receiving passive-agressive behaviour all day from half her customers. then the person like OP arrives at the counter and tries a convincing smile. as she lays down the pregnancy test. she's fumbling in her purse for the cash, check-out lady is a little low blood sugar, goes in to a vague stare whilst waiting, just happens to be looking at customer's left had. vague-out broken when cash laid out (right hand) by now wild-eyed insecure customer who screams, "**** YOU and what you think!" and storms out... and there begins check-out lady's therapy sessions...
alpaquette91 9
or she needs to use it a lot ha
IsBitchBetter 1
When my married sister was preggers and her hands too swollen to wear her ring, my mom made her wear a fake wedding ring to church so she wouldn't be embarrassed!
Ella90 0
100 buck days the cashier is having sex out of wedlock as well!!