Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
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Top comments
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
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Comments (371)
joliesbebes 0
ha! I would be more worried about my child being born outside of wedlock than what the cashier thinks!
skitzofreniks 5
first off; you're at walmart...you're probably fat anyway in which the cashier won't believe you're married. second; I didn't know great value brand made pregnancy tests.
SteelCladAngel 0
walmart store brand is equate lol tops store brand is great value
chester75 5
how's there a correlation between shopping at Walmart and being overweight? it's like me saying : your comment=trashy uneducated hillbilly
flickyourbic1223 7
Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show the world that you've got got more than your boyfriends **** shoved up that snotty a** of yours.
skitzofreniks 5
You guys mad?
Target10 0
you mad bro?
raya_kz 7
Hahaha hahaha never done that but it's clever thinkin:) haha.
josey_wales 0
Tired of this "screw what people think" thing that some of you try to claim. So u just throw whatever on when u go out, tshirt with holes in it, whatever. invite people to your house and don't clean up first, so what if there's steaming piles of shit on the floor, cuz **** what they think! EVERYONE has different levels of caring about what people think. We all care to some extent.
anorexicbarbie 8
How am I acting like the cashier? I think she's irresponsible, but I never called her a ****, did I? There's a difference.
josey_wales 0
Wrong spot there barbie.
Mitcha857 0
the crazy things women do. You seriously wasted the time putting on a fake ring just to convince someone you don't know that you're not a ****. Hell, you were getting a test, you don't know if you're pregnant yet! Quit worrying about what a person you're never going to see again thinks of you.
CanuckPopcicle 2
Ha, wish I'd thought of that. Tho don't think anyone's gunna think you're a **** unless you buy like 10 at the same time, or the pharmasist notices you in there a lot and starts recommending a brand. Well, hope you get good news, whichever way you want the good to be :)
kyrajean 0
haha I remember when I was pregnant and went to wal-mart bahahahahahahahahaha
BIGbadBRIZZLE 0
yah. because the cashier carries a diploma so you don't think they're uneducated.
trisha54 0
Slutttttttt
sinny7684 4
By the sounds of it, the cashier is the last of your problems...