Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
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Top comments
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
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Comments (371)
Miss_Jazzalyn 4
Not everyone who thinks that someone who's had sex but isn't married is a ****. I mean, if OP goes to that Walmart regularly and knows the type of people who work there, it's different. But even so, I doubt that they'd all be that way. OP should remember that not all of us are that narrow-minded.
lbigirl531 1
sooo do you always do that?
jess6blondie9 3
That's actually true.
Dallyni 22
haha nowadays it's not pregnancy that makes you a **** in people's eyes
wriptidez 0
its gonna be ok ....
john_donham3 0
wow if your not confident enough to know that your a **** and desperate enough todo that then yur probably a ****
InvisibleReign 0
Is there a reasoning behind your thinking? Could you possibly be a ****? Hm....
MrBobby_fml 7
Wtf? That's an incredibly old-fashioned and small-minded way of thinking (anyone who thinks sex before marriage = ****, that is)
MrBobby_fml 7
ps, speaking as a cashier, I can assure you we care little about our customers, other than for minor amusement.
dt520 4
gotta keep that rep up at the walmart y'all heard?