Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
Lookalikes
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Insecure
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML
Make believe
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML
Top comments
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
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Comments (371)
Cupcaken 0
if you're old enough to be married, I doubt anyone would think you a **** just for having sex.
zkchild 0
tbh she's kinda a floozy if she's having sex before marriage...
Shootamonkey3 0
^^^ Lmao win.
zinoxity 23
1 You're 16, how would you know? Taking what you said makes you seem like someone who is justifying sex for fun, thus it makes you look like a potential ****. :)
zinoxity 23
1 May I also add that you're legally allowed to marry at a very young age. Thus your statent is invalid.
MissBunny25 0
35, she said if you're old enough to be married. not "im 16 muthafuggas! screw me hardcore!!" you sir, deserve some pissed wheaties.
Cupcaken 0
well.. yeah, what is wrong with sex for fun? You're actually just implying that you only believe in sex after marriage which.. is a little narrowminded. Silly Americans with your frightened look on sex.
mozeltov 7
no one likes Danish people
mozeltov 7
no one likes Danish people.
mfmylifesrsly 30
so are you pregnant? my BFF and I went to walmart to buy a pregnancy test cause she didn't want to go alone, I also went in a tiny stall with her haha. also, stating my opinion on 'sex for fun', I think sex is a very beautiful thing, and should be saved until you're in love with someone. but that's just my opinion, if you wanna be promiscuous go ahead. ive experienced sex for fun and it was good but when I saved myself for my ex pre-fiancé (lol Fired Up word) it was so worth waiting.
nerdchic 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I love sex.. I do it with my boyfriend all the time.. and frankly I think waiting for sex until marriage is stupid.. bc what if he sucks in bed afterwards.. you're gonna want someone with experience.. don't worry op.. I wouldn't think you're a ****
anorexicbarbie 8
Way to sound like a tool, 43.
zinoxity 23
I'm not American mother *******. You mad, slutty girls? :) <3
SteelCladAngel 0
most Americans /do/ have a very narrow-minded and conservative way of thinking about sex my mom still likes to think only gay men have anal sex, and thinks gay people are disgusting. god only knows why. my gram sure as hell didnt raise her to be so judgmental. the 'I won't judge others for their lifestyle' gene must have skipped a generation and gone to me lol people definitely do need to be more open minded but they need to be smarter about sexuality(using condoms. sooo many people don't use condoms!) hell I know people who think spanking is like freaky kinky!!
cheeksMcgeeks 3
73 & 43, Uhh...what part of America are you guys talking about? Am I missing something? Last time I checked we had the highest percentage of teen pregnancies and illegitimate child-births. This only leads me to believe that Sex-for-fun>Sex-not-for-fun... From what I've gathered on a day to day basis only a very small percentage of Americans actually think it's wrong to have sex before marriage. Seriously. Correct me if I'm wrong
rawrriri 8
^ rogger that! ;]
Cupcaken 0
Am I right in saying that the most chosen message about sex in America is "stay away!"? I don't live in America, but my general idea is that sex education isn't the best there.
zinoxity 23
I'm not American. You mad, slutty girls? :) <3 Being a **** isn't good. Want be 16 and pregnant? Go ahead. Want to raise a kid by your self? Go ahead. It's a shame people are so ignorant.
ackley_fml 0
I totally agree. it should be
zinoxity 23
111 - Are you thick headed? You're obviously ignorant about the whole topic. I can tell your Sex Ed is worse than most Americans I've met. Pathetic.
nerdchic 5
yeah America is way too strict Ab sex .. and no.. someone who sucks in bed or doesn't want to do the fun stuff- you can't change
skyeyez9 25
Waiting till marriage isnt realistic anymore. Nowadays people get married for the first time in the late 20's to mid 30's and even later. 120yrs ago, people were married in their teens and didnt have that long of a wait. Waitin till you are 29 is ridiculous.
stoopkid911 0
pretty much sayin to alot of ppl on here that u are a **** op :p
lissa922 6
just because u are not married and having sex doesn't make u a ****! I hate how narrow minded people can be about these things. U can be more in love then many married couples a piece of paper shouldn't determine if u should have sex or not!
Madiluvscookies 0
I just agree with 94. I gotta say that for America, the place where sex is sold to us on every single corner and whichever direction we look, we are nowhere NEAR close-minded to sex. Usually the religious, like myself, and people with their own reasons have their reasons o wanting to wait. For me, waiting make it a beautiful experience. And frankly, I don't want a friggin disease.
Monikabug 9
I agree with @53. I've missed you Haley. :)
Monikabug 9
Also, what is so wrong about someone buying a pregnancy test anyways?.. Isn't it better to know and start weighing your options before you are too far along? I don't see what is so taboo, or why it's so embarrassing anyways, to buy a pregnancy test. Nearly every female will have one done in their life time and honestly, who cares what an employee at Walmart thinks about you because you bought it?
KyRidHEART 0
Excuse me, but if you can't spell "Awkward" right (on your profile) don't call me stupid, kay, Hun? Thanks.
KyRidHEART 0
Excuse me? Okay, this just proves it! If you're not in love you shouldn't marry. And you definetly don't love someone if you marry them based on sex. Get a clue.
GigglePony 13
If you think someone would question your lifestyle choices to the extent where you have to lie, that should REALLY say something...
mfmylifesrsly 30
omg monika!! I thought I was the only one left on fml from last year!
shannonreneee 11
It's everyone's choice whether or not they want to wait. However, just because one has sex for fun doesn't make them a ****. You would have sex for fun with your spouse, well I would hope.
shannonreneee 11
And my parents are psycho as sex, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend of over a year and they said I was a ****. Every guy I was friends with they would yell at me saying I was having sex. Good family.
Furnaceman 0
also, the 'stay away from sex' mentality adds to the teen pregnancy/std problem because of lack of any kind of education about sex
MrBobby_fml 7
Erm, yeah, the idea is that the lack of education and openness (acceptability) of the subject is a, or the, main factor leading to America's impressively high rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
tweetbaby14 18
actually, I the part that I live in any way, America has the "wait until you're ready*" sex slogan *code for when you're out of school do whoever you want whenever.
nerdchic 5
um - not everyone person who isn't a virgin has a disease.. so just bc you have sex with someone doesnt mean you'll get a disease.. that's why I can't stand religious people and their views on sex.. so uneducated
Sprocket 5
I am gay, so F that. You (those against gay marriage and/or for wait-till-marriage) won't let me get married, then b!tch about how promiscuous I am for sex outside of marriage. Sorry that my relationship is more stable and lasted longer than yours. Time to grow up and let us (I and my GF, OP, gays, unmarried, etc.) enjoy life. this isn't directed at anyone but... yeah.
lextheplex 0
you're smart. that girl talkin abt 'sex for fun' is just making herself sound gross. haha
autezz24680 2
i agree with 93, we do get alot of teen pregnecies in America which isn't really a good thing! teens should not be doing it "just for fun" turns out to be something you'll regret your whole life.
SpicyDuck 22
That's what self check-outs are for! Honestly, to each their own. If you want to wait, then wait. If you want to sleep around, go for it. There are consequences either way whether they are good or bad. You're your own person, everyone has their own opinion. Being bias draws negative attention to yourself because someone is going to disagree either way. This is a little off topic but it seems like people post their straight up opinion in attempt to convert people. It's not gonna happen. I like it when people keep to themselves.
oooKiLLaHooo 0
omfg!! nerdchic..please die!
nalia18 8
i think you all are being stupid! I understand the whole no sex till marraige because some people were brought in this world taught like that. 43 Yea you do sound like a tool but so does everyone else. listen to yourselves! Sex can be beautiful, cruel, and a good time! Do we have to argue? i mean come on! Everyone has an opinion this is one of them. This girl was scared about being known as a ****. Has anyone else been scared to be called something? You all need some help because "sex" is something that has different meanings in the eyes of the beholder! and by cruel i ment like rape or molesting. In my opinion i think the first time should be with a mate or lover. then if something doesnt work have a little fun. ITS AN FN OPINION SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!!!
soccer_italia_16 1
Sex is good, sex is fine. Doggy style or 69. Just for fun or getting paid, everyone lies getting laid.
islandcarrie 2
There is a stigma about being a teenage mom... however I'm American and my sexual education was never lacking, its in movies and in books everywhere. Also most parents i know say it is ok as long as you use protection.
naijagirl96 1
good for you! I'm waiting till marriage as well
purrfume 0
have sex when both you and the other person honestly really wants to and when it's safe. if this isn't the case then dont have sex you're probably not ready and it could be risky.
looneyben5432 0
111 is right it sucks and is ineffective cause kids screw all the time at least were smart enough to use condems
pradip 26
I agree with u
MiserableDarling 0
besides people that only believe in sex purely to procreate, what kind of sex is not "for fun"??
Foamy980 0
That's not completely true. I know an older women who's old enough to be married but is a **** cause she sleeps with everyman she meets. And has three kids from three different men.
aubsx3 0
hahaha that's actually a pretty good idea.. gotta use that next time
Fadeintoyou 4
Waiting until marriage to have sex with someone isn't 'unrealistic'. It's a traditional belief. A lot of people have different opinions about it. I think the best thing in the world is to fall in love and stay pure until the day you promise your heart to someone you love. It's God's choice
Fadeintoyou 4
Waiting until marriage to have sex with someone isn't 'unrealistic'. It's a traditional belief. A lot of people have different opinions about it. I think the best thing in the world is to fall in love and stay pure until the day you promise your heart to someone you love. It's God's choice
Fadeintoyou 4
Waiting until marriage to have sex with someone isn't 'unrealistic'. It's a traditional belief. A lot of people have different opinions about it. I think the best thing in the world is to fall in love and stay pure until the day you promise your heart to someone you love. It's God's choice
HeartAndSoul2011 0
I agree with 217; I mean I'm not gay, I'm a girl with a loving boyfriend, but you people don't need to be so judgemental of gays/lesbians/bisexuals. I have friends that are gay and friends that are lesbian and friends that are bisexual. that doesn't bother me, if it did, they wouldn't be my friends. you people need to be more open-minded. I'm not yelling at everyone, just the VERY judgmental people.
ceddyz17 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I bet that was very awkward
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Because she's trying hard to hide her slutness.
staceysgenesis16 0
well its not that hard.. just clean up n cover up.. bahah idk bout awkward .. well .. i guess it is awkward.
xJordieeBearhhx 0
even if you aren't married, there's nothing wrong with being possibly pregnant. good lick there. :)
mycookiezz 0
haha, KaySL wins again xD
chomoma 0
luck ***
mk58 31
You're ruining the fun!! ^ XD
boopityboppity 11
#3 got off easy. For Kay, that's practically brimming with hospitality and kindness.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
lick***
rowanzora 3
Why does everybody wear those bug ugly glasses?
UselessWeeaboo1 21
(Late AF, yay) Except for the fact that if OP is worried about people thinking she’s a ****, then she most likely has sex a lot and doesn’t know who the father is.
geekemo92 0
You care what a cashier at Walmart thinks about you?
dunner12 0
exactly what I was thinking.
polysyllabist 3
Exactly this #5
mozeltov 7
Chuck Norris slams revolving doors
MissBunny25 0
chuck Norris gargles peanut butter
docscientist 10
Chick Norris died today, he was buried with his jokes.
chronic79 0
not just that, she then posts this on here so we could all think she is a ****
yeaafmyliifee 3
AMEN 165.
Itstherealjen 0
you just think too much
HeavyMetalViking 0
And once I wore a fake condom so that the cashier at walmart would not think I'm irresponsible.
loudema 5
win!!
vterr93 0
:D lmao
mfmylifesrsly 30
I don't get it...
jessicanicole201 0
lmao win (:
Kludt2009 0
lmao! love it! too funny!
getfiggywithit1 0
hhahahaa winn
eddiemonster12 5
win!!
pimpcakes2 11
Maybe op is the one that thinks she is a ****??!!
brunettesara5722 17
that's wut I was thinking!
Tuesdays76 0
well she would know
alex1432 9
she's the only one that would know for sure
KasCiaYr 0
She also thinks that about other girls.
emilyAluster5858 0
lol you shouldn't care what other people think about you .
missbadluk 0
...says the girl with skimpy clothes on for a profile picture on a very public website. Hmmm...
holly_fly 34
Well... There is an old saying practice what you preach. And the picture shows a little belly. I've seen much worse here.
itsalwaysYDI 0
never heard of that one..lol. hope it all works out for you. and btw why would you have a fake wedding ring..just laying around?
CAPTmok 7
Its probably just a ring.. then she made it look a wedding ring by putting it on ring finger maybe..
getfiggywithit1 0
hahahaa
sarahbear430 0
way to go all out! most people just use the "I'm buying this for a friend" line.
Tuesdays76 0
And you know this because...? Ha JK