Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bad timing
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Overcome
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
How very dare you?
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Morning motivation
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
That was quick
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Involuntary
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Top comments
kraine0712 2
Wow poor vibrator. This should be the vibrators FML. Today, some chick was using me and it was going really well. Then she fell asleep with me still running, now my batteries are dead. I have a job interview tomorrow. FML.
ayooBrandon 12
I can't imagine how wet your sheets are
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Comments (595)
Quagmire_ladies 9
I think that should tell you something. Go for the real stuff...you might actually stay awake.
buckie123 3
ha ha ha ha...zzz.
titmouselax 1
who hasn't done that?
Ace021 0
U sure it wasnt ur friends?
AcidLacedBong 5
the only way this would be a fml is if you ran your batteries dead! I'd say that was probly a great sleep lol
breeaannaa 0
that must have been a powerful battery...you would think it would have died or something
fads70 2
you must be bad at it then.
terdfergison12 0
if your hot I might have to fall asleep with that picture in my head ;)
panchis16 0
something tells me that you and your vibrator need to start seeing other people
dmeloccaro 5
Hahah. That's fantastic. No worries, you aren't alone. I promise. I have done that plenty of times. Once, at my exes house, i was in bed and I was trying to pass the time so i started. I woke up to my best friend, a guy, said "whoa" and i looked down and my hand was still down my pants. Lol, no biggie.