Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bad timing
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Overcome
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
How very dare you?
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Morning motivation
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
That was quick
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Involuntary
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Top comments
kraine0712 2
Wow poor vibrator. This should be the vibrators FML. Today, some chick was using me and it was going really well. Then she fell asleep with me still running, now my batteries are dead. I have a job interview tomorrow. FML.
ayooBrandon 12
I can't imagine how wet your sheets are
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Comments (595)
TheDrummingResul 0
happens to the worst of us...
sushdrag 0
u suck
Souhyb 0
how
Garyy_fml 11
lol
buddmoney 0
JBaller23 0
lol thats pretty funny
muffinlizzie 7
Okay, so the whole falling asleep while masturbating I can understand. It's relaxing and if you're tired I imagine falling asleep would be all too easy. But what I really want to say is, that would be amazing to wake up with a vibrator on, especially if you had wet dreams. Satisfaction? Check.
mikeyisdead 6
you were so tired out of nowhere you fell sleep while still do it but I think it pretty funny if you think about it
autoxinvr6_fml_fml 5
Even you were so bored with your self you fell asleep. Time to call up all the old guys and say "Sorry it really was me and not you".
missy13him 2
OMG i done that