44haley44
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Bad timing
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
Lonely
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Handblocked
🌶️ Spicy
Overcome
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
How very dare you?
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Embarassed
Canada
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
thermos
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Morning motivation
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Anonymous
Altamonte Springs, United States 🌶️ Spicy
That was quick
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
hannahthedino
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Involuntary
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Ned
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Top comments
kraine0712 2
Wow poor vibrator. This should be the vibrators FML. Today, some chick was using me and it was going really well. Then she fell asleep with me still running, now my batteries are dead. I have a job interview tomorrow. FML.
ayooBrandon 12
I can't imagine how wet your sheets are
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Comments (595)
mrjamjama66 5
I did that once. I was laying there jacking it and just passed out. I'm even boring to myself in bed
breeaannaa 0
I don't see how the batteries didn't die...
TinMan19 6
Way beyond awesome
oooCANDLEMANooo 2
“Today I woke up with my mouth open and food still in it. I fell asleep Masticating”
MissChaos84 0
And the moral of the story is...... Never ********** while sleepy
AyeeArieel 5
ohh wow somee niite huh ? aha
Steinson_ERAU 0
nice battery life. I want one that lasts that long :P
MissChaos84 0
And the moral is... Never ********** while sleepy
mezochan 29
Forever alone...
123jdub 7
You must not be that good