Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went downstairs completely naked to get water, completely forgetting that my daughter had a sleepover and they were in the living room. The ice dispenser woke some of them up, including my daughter. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
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Top comments
cocacola999 27
The FML depends on whether the son is 5, 15 or 25...
ELoni_fml 25
And the age of the daughter in a way, if she is 1 or 21. It's not entirely unthinkable the daughter is 21 and the son is 25. If my brother would steal my bottle of vodka I would cry.
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Comments (47)
casste 6
Why aren't you watching your kids, though?
cwrocker 14
ahhh sibling relationships .... it's so, magical.:)
ceelos97 16
How old is the son?
KayyElOh94 2
I posted this. First of all I wasn't asleep I was sick it was when i came back after being in the bathroom for 5 minutes to throw up that it happened. Second of all both of my kids are boys they must have changed it so it could be easier understood. Third, They are 1 year old and 2 months old I put that in there when I typed it
Carolynn93 5
I read this as if they were grown children lol
sugoine 12
What was in the bottle???
iLoveCars 18
Where do I sign?