cantunhear
Fishkill, United States
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
sonofaneuroticwench
Rice Lake, United States
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
weddingbells
United States
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
sninapeters
United States
Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML
omgstfuplz
United States
Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML
AnDroidZ_BabY
United States
Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
Username
United States
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
slenderman908
Ann Arbor, United States
Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
Anonymous
Philadelphia, United States
Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML
smh
United States
Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML
Sonofa
Cold Lake, Canada
Not now, guys
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Top comments
baxeh 29
So.... Who is ?
RitRit 20
Always better than hearing them in bed!
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Comments (63)
baxeh 29
So.... Who is ?
MrSassypants 34
I think it's safe to assume that they came to the conclusion that I am the worst in bed. Weird how that turned out.
Miss_Chevious 37
maybe it was a tie
RitRit 20
Always better than hearing them in bed!
boating_guy 33
...is it though?
AddictGamer 16
Not to judge, but hearing them out of bed sounds better than hearing them in bed. Although we can agree they both sound terrible.
vikky538 29
yah true.. arguments have more detail than the original ...
garage_fml 18
Headphones. Use 'em.
Duckzy 16
Or ear bleach...
vikky538 29
or buy two pacifiers and put them in the parents niuth...sometimes it works...
crushcrusher 33
next time put on your headphones.
patrickeli 15
Ew. That's traumatizing.
Cass_x 22
Not really. It's way worse to actually HEAR them having sex. Trust me. *shudders*
PokeyPorcupine 18
That's when you bang on the door and tell them they both are shitty.
verysmarmy 11
How would OP know? Unless...
DARKDAY07 16
Get some ear plugs and listen to very loud music
TiiBags 15
I think the earplugs will block the music...
DARKDAY07 16
It's called double insurance lol
mrmcleod 29
#28 Actually not necessarily. I'm a metal fabricator and I wear ear plugs regularly. I will play music on my phone's speaker and stick it up inside of my hard hat. The plugs are good at blocking out certain frequencies of noise, in my case heavy machinery, welding machines etc. I actually hear my music better with the ear plugs in when I'm in the shop. In OP's case it might actuality benefit him doubling up!
mrmcleod 29
#44, while that may be true, the amount of time it took you to just start writing your comment the vacuum of space wood have killed said individual already. So quick? Yes. Painless? Debatable.
BSnapZ 21
Is it just me, or are #44 and #45 the same person, having a conversation with himself?
buckstop1 37
Just you
joselgarciac 9
do you wear a helmet every day?
mrmcleod 29
Aaaah! would*, I hate my phone.
Armygirl93 10
44 and 45 just confused the hell out of me....multiple personalities maybe?
Bearyknight 7
It is at that moment and when you should of jumped out of your window, climbed into your rocket, blasted of into space, and finally ejected yourself into space for a quick painless death. If that did not help erase such memories, see below. ** Rinse and repeat
kerstileann 26
I always die a quick painless death to not hear 1 conversation. Yep every day.
Bearyknight 7
For the sake of his/her innocence, that'd be appropriate. Haha
Rei_Ayanami 18
While I understand this was for comedic purposes... Being caught in the vacuum of space is ANYTHING but painless, all the moisture in your body is ripped out of you by extreme pressure. You don't suffocate, your internal organs pretty much turn to soup, explode, and evaporate. While that is happening your eyes are also exploding, and your skin is freezing solid. It takes less than 10 seconds, but it is likely the absolutely most horrendous way to die.
kerstileann 26
Well that was awfully graphic.
joselgarciac 9
it's also really cool...
anoniemm 13
In a few years you'll be telling this to your psychologist ?
americanafrican 32
I'm betting your Dad lost that argument
brenton490 19
If he is smart and wants any in the future I would say he lost it!
americanafrican 32
one simply doesn't win an argument with one's wife
joselgarciac 9
Even when you win you still lose.