Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Can't take it anymore
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Help!
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Daily grind
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Top comments
FatelBlade 8
Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.
zingline89 18
Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.
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Comments (190)
znc15 0
Smosh made a video that had that in it. It's about Facebook status' so check it out
pinktacos143 1
this is pretty much from the movie serious moonlight, except meg ryan used duct tape.. let's at least try to be more original with fmls?
skyeofblood 1
wtf?!
False_Stupidity 42
So, now your a shitasaurus.. </shitty joke>
maxamus951852 3
Do you normally sleep on the toilet? or did u just end up there?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
94- DaFrequentlyAskedQuestions?
mariaealvarez 1
How the hell??
hckr47 0
face or butt?
Taymah49 7
I hope you find the remover
kimmis79 2
Fraudulent story