Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on Christmas Eve, as I was getting my car loaded for the holiday rounds to the in-laws and parents, my car decided now was the time to break down. I recently put in over $1000 fixing it. FML
Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML
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Top comments
alexsannell 13
Replace it... You don't have to leave it like that forever :)
challan 19
Those wankers! So ballsy of them. They basically pissed all over you, Op. Do you live by the docks? Those semen are rough characters. Did you call the police? I would, in a hairy situation like this. Those guys are nuts!
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Comments (83)
smokecloud_ 37
No, but I think we need to start.
tommyfox 19
JMichael 26
Please don't..
sanecatlady 13
That's awful! People who do things like that need to be locked up, except that they don't learn from just being locked up. Instead they need to pay for the damage and repair it, and be forced to walk around in public with a huge sign saying: "I'm a vandal with the maturity level of a 6-year-old" Yes, I do believe in humiliating people for their crimes. >:)
NatalieOntheTram 11
Agreed. Public shaming works wonders. Jail? Not so much.
Girlie7 11
Atleast it had a large ****!
sickerthanyou 13
I guess they didn't know you were a girl, they needed to keyed a ******, not a dick with balls
Tidus0 17
Windscreen replacement isn't that expensive. Even some insurance companies if you opt for it in the premium include one free windscreen replacement per year (well at least in Australia). But OP seriously I would replace it. Anything etched into glass weakens those points and being a main glass panel in your car it could be dangerous in the event it shatters or gets broken while driving. Your life is more valuable than the cost of the repair.
worldclassrager 41
It's a windscreen just take it off...unless it's a British term I don't know...
Mdhughey 7
Shouldn't things like this be done on Holloween?
harryb1963 3
Someone is feeling a bit cocky today.