Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML
Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, I wanted to go shopping in my new car that I bought just a month ago. When I stepped outside, I saw someone had smashed the driver side's window. They didn't even steal anything. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Okay, here's the plan.. put on some new wipers, but rig them to electrocute the thief. That'll show him! Just.. make sure you don't touch them. Or get them wet. Okay, this is a bad idea, so never mind.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No one is stealing them. Your car is a transformer, and he hates the ones you buy for him, so every time you leave, he chucks them as far away as possible, then turns into a car again.
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Comments (120)
hannahkours 0
Ha. Sucks for you.
Goldenchest 14
Swiper no swiping!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I can predict the future. I predict that #1 will be buried alive... By FML commenters.
nerobluerose 10
I would steal everyone on the blocks windshield wipers. It has to be someone within seeing distance considering you weren't gone long
redbluegreen 41
#14, I'm not sure if I want to be remembered for murdering a fellow FML commenter.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
21- No! We're not going to kill him. We're just burying him. The lack of oxygen will kill him.
Purplefluff 6
So that's how karma works...
Purplefluff 6
Meant that to #19
mccaincracker 6
Set up a hidden camera and get another pair so you can catch him.
starsfan_9 7
I like that idea, except use bear traps instead of cameras
Paco_el_Taco 17
How do you know it's a him?
SuperDerp 8
More like it's time to move dude, unless you can't get a better place to go...
Flyersfan54 4
Not everybody has money to buy a hidden camera..
CaramelMacchiato 13
.. Then buy a regular camera and hide it. If all else fails, you're screwed.
Kenik 6
They will probably watch OP place said camera/bear trap and steal them also.
Renesaga 8
Okay, here's the plan.. put on some new wipers, but rig them to electrocute the thief. That'll show him! Just.. make sure you don't touch them. Or get them wet. Okay, this is a bad idea, so never mind.
chemchic 7
Solution = Sniper Rifle Peek-a-boo... I see you!
Allahu_Akbar 1
He was probably watching you write this.
jeragonm 15
What does your name mean?
Jumpingmal2 7
Dip_shit
geko911 22
68 just google it and you'll find in 1 minute or less that it means "Allah is the Greatest", if you don't know who Allah is, he's their god. Long live google, eradicating stupidity everywhere! And 75 in case you were not just joking, you're a dam moron racist. If it was a joke, get new jokes it was a bad one.
jizzwold 21
How is he a racist?
Damien1398 4
It's the mysterious wiper jacker. Poison the next set
AssassinsCRB 0
I don't think the thief eats them..
other121 2
Well duh. You can touch poison and it will harm you.
False_Stupidity 42
Contact poison...
Purplefluff 6
Can you poison windscreen wipers? Normally poison only harms someone if you eat it
UmBongos 3
You should really get some security cameras..
onlychildFTW 34
People steal those?!?!?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No one is stealing them. Your car is a transformer, and he hates the ones you buy for him, so every time you leave, he chucks them as far away as possible, then turns into a car again.
KeyboardWarrior 10
This was actually hilarious to imagine.
br0ccoli 15
Well in that case, it's time to dutch-oven that mofo.
Snafuusmc 12
It's just one of those days where nothing goes your way.
FUUUandyourmom 16
Why the **** would somebody steal windscreen wipers?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
To wear them as alien antennas. Duh.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Because its easier than a car?
hellaflushfa5 6
I don't know about you, but mine is made of glass. There is no screen involved. So it's more of a shield. Windshield!
BeMyLove15 10
Sorry op, maybe you should put the next ones on right before you leave, and pull in the garage (if you have one) .