Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on Christmas Eve, as I was getting my car loaded for the holiday rounds to the in-laws and parents, my car decided now was the time to break down. I recently put in over $1000 fixing it. FML
Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML
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Top comments
alexsannell 13
Replace it... You don't have to leave it like that forever :)
challan 19
Those wankers! So ballsy of them. They basically pissed all over you, Op. Do you live by the docks? Those semen are rough characters. Did you call the police? I would, in a hairy situation like this. Those guys are nuts!
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Comments (83)
Redtick 9
What the hell is a windscreen?
khaoticpanda 28
My first thoughts too. Windshield i assume.
chosha_fml 27
Really? You had trouble translating that? Hardly a brainteaser. Lucky OP didn't mention putting things in the boot.
fuckityfuc 6
That's horrible. I am sorry OP :/ Hopefully you will be able to sort it out.
khaoticpanda 28
On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me....
jerryj 27
a huge **** on my windscreeeeen.
Tonasharkman 14
That happened to my mom's car except on the good of the car and it was some kind of gang symbol on it.
Tonasharkman 14
Wait why are there so many thumbs down?
EmmaMK 35
A Christmas **** and Ball story.
Neopopulas 9
Windshields aren't that expensive, especially if you have insurance. paying it off for the next few years has no connection to the state of a windshield you can pay off. I know it sucks but its not like you have to drive around with a cockmobile for four years.
JanisEvans 10
You're in the UK. Call Autoglass. They fix it, your insurance covers it. Problem solved.
Anamalak 10
Auto insurance???
perdix 31
At least it's not a tiny **** and balls. That would have been embarrassing!
Bcfrmkc816 17
Find em knock em out and tattoo a penis and balls on their face