Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML
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Top comments
havingalaugh 9
Well at least you started the new year with more money than last year.
xkore787 14
Am I the only one thinking she partied a little too hard?
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Comments (79)
thatKellykid 12
You'll probably find out what happened and why it's there in a couple days on Instagram.
Carpenter_C 14
Well it's official! You're a professional drunk.
Bravo11 14
First time I've seen the YDI button actually be considered a good thing.
iseebearbears 27
To all of you asking how she can afford the booze while being broke, when do girls ever have to pay when they go drinking? Guys I know would get offended if we even offer to pay.
Quasita 26
That's ridiculous. To assume that all women, by default, get free drinks no matter what... it's just not true. Besides, a woman should be ready to pay for her own, regardless of what ends up happening. Hate it when women go out with some sense of entitlement to this sort of shit.
jweb1434 6
Become a stripper
an3ph 20
Save it for diapers.
jamaicanme 3
You honestly probably don't want to remember. Just take the money no repeats lol
commandercolbert 6
thats what happens when you drink....
Ins0mau 20
It's never happened to me when I drink. :-(
Taurus_ChicKa 37
This is a tricky one - if you say YDI, you're saying OP deserves the money she received by being so drunk she can't remember getting it. But if you say FYL, well, obviously her life isn't f*cked if she woke up with more money than she's had in a long time, even if she doesn't remember how she got it. Still, OP, this is why you shouldn't drink more than you can handle. God knows what else happened while you were passed out...
brett16139 4
no way samething happened here!!! but imma guy... and I don't usually wear bras...