Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML
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Top comments
havingalaugh 9
Well at least you started the new year with more money than last year.
xkore787 14
Am I the only one thinking she partied a little too hard?
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Comments (79)
worldclassrager 41
Hey it's money I would take it...hope no drunk sex happened...
Kershaw45 9
Way to bring in the new year.
Enslaved 38
I'd worry less about how it got there vs what you did to earn it?
hockeygoalie13 15
"I woke up hungover" Instant YDI.
TheRoyalDog 10
What? You can never party too hard on New Years!
snydeeli000 27
Or, you could not drink, like smart people do. Either way, the FML wasn't about the drinking it's about the money.
squideth 18
Smart people? Haha okay kid. Must be nice up there on your high horse.
horneyhic 15
I wish I could get drunk on $13 that buys 2 beers here
jdeezy01 13
I'm sure the internet will help you remember last night.
JaegerMayCry 13
so that's were I left them!
Flowtastic 16
If that's the most money how'd you get drunk enough to get a hangover? Mooching? :/
ksks1234 33
You can buy a pint of heaven hill vodka for $2.99. Maybe op bought that junk.
arandomusernameaa 20
She got drinks bought for her? My friend spends nothing when she goes out... just let's guys buy her drinks and paints the club stamps onto her hand to get in... student life hey ;)
Ki11erC 18
40: that's not student life that's just you women mooching.
Km1490 20
Now you know you can have a new source of income :P
FMLcommenterer 13
I guess you could say last night's party 'paid off'! I'm not funny.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You haven't had more than 13 $ in your pocket for weeks and you wake up hangover? Or could you afford the booze??