Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML
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Top comments
havingalaugh 9
Well at least you started the new year with more money than last year.
xkore787 14
Am I the only one thinking she partied a little too hard?
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Comments (79)
perdix 31
If your bra was still on, you are not a proper stripper, you're just a tease!
Zebediabolical 45
Correction: You /weren't/ a stripper.
Blink_me26 21
Go hard or go home.
awilliams44 9
maybe while u were drunk u decided to become a stripper.
olpally 33
I want to party with you! Lol.
flyingflies 36
You're broke but somehow still have money for booze? You should check your priorities...
kuzzy00 22
Make sure you get checked at the clinic. Although I guess is a friend put money there to support a taxi fare home.
chosha_fml 27
How did you afford enough booze to get that drunk?
Rodville 28
I have the feeling there is going to be a drunk girl video on YouTube about to go viral. Followed by another FML.
Dark_Stream 29
I sounds like you are not partying with friends who will protect you from your drunk self. You might want to collect enough for Plan B after your next blackout.