Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I paid $50 for a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hairdresser was drunk. FML
Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You’ve hit rock bottom. You must seek help either from AA or a Dora the Explorer support group.
Tripartita 45
So you got a free haircut and we’re too drunk to remember the awkward small talk that normally accompanies having a stranger cut pieces of you off? Bravo, OP. Very thrifty.
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Comments (12)
Isa_fml 20
What are you doing getting that wasted in front of a small child? Not appropriate, and I'm concerned about your friend's parenting.