Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
It was an accident!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Spooked
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
Freaked out
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Top comments
PandaPi 0
Check if your wang is still there!!!!!!
Accept 11
No, that's not creepy at all. o.o (Sarcasm)
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Comments (219)
MacUser1986 5
That's hot!
InAmbrose 5
You mean your ex, right? RIGHT?!
Sniper_Fidelis 1
seeing this post and your picture made me laugh so hard
traViis92 0
I stay with my girlfriend sometimes and she read fml. Now I'm scared...
ShadowWolf64 1
What the ****? o.o Dump her. Dump her and move to another state. She sounds like one of the crazy ones
whitecloud197 0
176 is right....5 bucks this fml is from different men about the same girl lol
buddmoney 0
That happened too. A lil advice: leave now
kandii_kidd 0
Ok one question where were you when you initially fell asleep? Your house? If so I'm scared for you.
picklemonger 13
most important question is "Did you go to sleep at your girlfriend's house?"
8_FYL_8 3
Not weird at all. My girlfriend does it all the time.