bTOhno
United States
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
joe
United States
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
innocent
Australia
It was an accident!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
permanently scarred
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
awkwardpartybear
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
West Palm Beach, United States
Spooked
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
ouch
Livonia, United States
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
happybidet
United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
RomanceFail
Crestwood, United States
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
thegirlofthedad
Mumbai, India
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
Anonymous
United States
Freaked out
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Top comments
PandaPi 0
Check if your wang is still there!!!!!!
Accept 11
No, that's not creepy at all. o.o (Sarcasm)
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Comments (219)
Comet_Candy 23
Good news! You're dating a psycho.
clairevoent 0
Sounds kinky
ghostlysnipes 1
One question? Did you go to sleep there?
tripper37 0
Was your dick still there?
DelilahPhan 6
LOL that made me laugh so much!
Enigmax2514 7
OMG GTFO ME GTFO ME *runs from your girlfriend and knife out into the rest of the haunted house, trip on a string and gets impaled by the boobytrapped spike floorboards*
JurassicHole 5
Terrifying...unless she's thinking of some weird roleplay involving The Shining and Halloween...no still terrifying.
ChicksBipolar911 0
.. What did You do last night ?
1966mustanggt350 4
run bro, seriosly, run
doedizzle666 3
that's a bad day already in the making.....bad luck