Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
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Top comments
CYNNER 0
I would have missed work. can't believe you did that. gross
jonnymohio 2
Hot dry pee smells even stronger than wet pee. YDI
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Comments (159)
metalmusic 0
Walk of shame?
Gitsandshiggles 0
WTF is the matter with you?
stormin972 0
Are you to fucktarded to call in sick? What if you shit yourself? Would you just go about your day wallowing in your own filth?
Jenmaree 9
That's just disgusting. Call into work and tell them you've had an emergency and will be a little late. Or buy new pants on the way to work. Don't go around stinking like a hobo all day, that's just gross.
CallMeHush 1
OP, if you didn't sneak out like that I would have let you borrow some sweatpants or something. There is always clothes from someone in the closet. BTW, it wasn't all your pee.
xxmarlboroxx 0
mmkay, I would have washed them or bought new ones... you said you were already late for work, a little later would have saved space for a better FML, cuz this one is a total YDI.
thecbake4 0
People like you disgust me...
maxgray 0
Wouldn't the dried piss stink? Jesus.. I'd hate to be one of your co-workers.
colomexparra 0
justean?? is that you op?
ZeroMachine 3
YDI for being a drunk. Seriously, rule one of controlled drinking is: Don't get shit-faced when you have work the next day. Now, if you were drugged or something, that's a different story. In either case calling in sick would be a good idea, call it a medical emergency. This could have gotten you fired. Because you probably (a) were still drunk and (b) smelled like piss. I'm shocked if you still have a job by the end of the week.