Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot to tell me about the all-night bender he went out on, and what he got up to with my best friend. But its okay; the Facebook pictures say it all. FML
Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
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Top comments
taycandy96 2
*****!!!!
trebla3193 0
Eww a threesome with her brother that's just nasty.
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Comments (154)
taycandy96 2
*****!!!!
jake_fml 0
frist reply
serendipitiousne 0
OP: The situation is totally messed up and Im sorry but think about it. Since when does great sex allow you to text a play by play? Great sex takes the effort of both partners and you need your hands. And if you have enough thought to text someone it's not even good sex much less great. When your body is being ravished and you're orgasms are coming hard sorry but you can't think of anything else. So take pleasure in the fact that if they were having sex: they sucked at it.
TheBritishOne 0
can't have been that great if she had taken the time out to text you!
lovej4ever 0
look on the bright side, could have been incest..
Reyo 2
I agree with 48...you could always hope for wincest.
whaddupdawg203 0
My Balls said that last night
nudist 0
She's ******* her brother?! Nasty bitch.
ladiesman14 0
thats not true i can last an hour or more doing IT. i always bring my my iphoneand i text, ping, talk into my headset, listen to enigma, play video games. im typing this while im getting a bj. Wowwwwwwwwwww
sublime93 0
No. You wish you were, though.
sammy22 0
if someone would ever do that to me- I'd kick their ass- that was a dumb comment- you saying that you do that shit while you get shit- haha- your lame and don't understand the meaning of sex ugly dumb ****
Sinisin2010 0
Why was she having sex with her brother? I can only imagine her boyfriend was videotaping the event if he was the only other one there.
davidhasmorefun 0
#74. you know you are pathetic when you say how long you wish you could last on fml. just saying
killerj 0
to dog it obviosly was the brothers fault
naomib123 0
you sick mf get a lyfe ewww
upintheorange 5
did he just say "doing it?" I haven't heard that phrase since seventh grade.
bezach 0
Well the op is in France so Id'e have to guess it's with both men.
tacticalnutmeg 0
74 Your a clown.
Jen_J_the_J 0
first. maybe she likes insest and got ur bf to film it lol
RushFanatic 0
Hate to break it to ya Jen_J_the_J, but you're second. ;) And that sucks, OP, sorry. :(
scorpiella 4
Maybe she was... lying?
BoltTheSuperdog 22
We can hope...
trebla3193 0
Eww a threesome with her brother that's just nasty.
NGM_47 0
Let's hope there was incest going on for the sake of your relationship :D
YazBK 0
Incest.....WOO??
killerviral 0
incest *****
MXavierT 0
WINcest *****.
iBrittanyy 17
Wow your friends a *****! You should dump his ass
xoconnie 8
HAHA SUCKS FOR YOU, ur ugly or unsatisfying so he goes to ur friend. i feel bad for you :/ welllll, time to move on. :D
kylelove 8
Or maybe he's just an ass hole.
drunkandfml 11
Or maybe 10 is just an asshole
ambear26 14
10 is an asshole and so is op's boyfriend.
watermelonhesaid 0
Whatta bitch. She knew she was sleeping with your man, and she TEXTS you while she's at it?! That's SICK.
ibrett93 0
Shit happens. :)
iris1012 5
that's slutty
drunastunamazing 0
agree. I hope he is your ex