Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
"Fuckstick" is the only way to describe someone like that. Yuck.
cadillacgal79 32
I foresee a FML from your mother in the future....
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Comments (82)
Smo0chin 14
I guess he is trying to make her life convenient, at least she won't need to look for the dental floss
rmllavaneras 19
"Fuckstick" has to be one of the best adjectives I've read, EVER.
redrain567 16
At least it wasn't your toothbrush...
ultimate41 13
Oh god no, that's horrible
hippocrite 13
Calling bull
doubleofuck 20
Are you going to tell your mother?
fallentroy21 6
Dang man! As long as she has good mouth wash, her mouth will stay clean! And the mouth was will kill the crabs
zyoff 1
Hahahahahahahaha
Eloxia 7
Today run to the store and buy everyone in the house a new toothbrush. Also buy a lockbox for the bathroom and give everyone but your brother the combination. It's the only way to be safe.
frenchie_crazed 10
That's disgusting. But hey, at least it's not your toothbrush :p
grunt_fml 17
Yes, is was not OPs toothbrush THIS time.