Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
"Fuckstick" is the only way to describe someone like that. Yuck.
cadillacgal79 32
I foresee a FML from your mother in the future....
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Comments (82)
Acacia21 23
"At least it wasn't your toothbrush" but how do we know that that's the only one he uses... Time for a new brush OP!
AL3XFML 7
Thank you fuckstick is now part of my vocabulary
WattledParsley 11
Classy.
Foxrabbit 9
This is probably not the first time he's done that. This is only the first time someone has caught him.
missreader 14
why would he do that? he could shave it of instead.
Clayton87 13
Your brother is not right in the head.
coppersmith 13
It's called 'Oedibrush Complex'
ona16 22
It's a bit early for douche bag of the year nominees, but I think this is an definite candidate.
wallmaria 15
how disgusting, poor mom
Epickitty58 29
Nice new insult word. I gotta use that one now.