Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I'm a 24 year-old guy who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML
Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I've been married for six months, my husband and I are in our early twenties, and not only does he have absolutely no interest in any kind of sexual act with me, he actually becomes angry and irritated when I try to come on to him. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
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Top comments
vrock 0
Wow, its bitches like you that make me love my girlfriend
allmidnighteyes 11
Is your "BF", by any chance, the hamster in your profile picture?
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Comments (76)
GCali4 0
Sex at 15? Thats just disgusting. I agree.. Shes a ****.
mayo21 0
my guess is your wife isn't getting any. be a man.
Syntax_fml 4
23... never had a wet dream. :/
roadracer39 5
welcome to married life. get used to masturbation.
21jason 9
Guess who's going back to spanking the monkey?
daaniel69 6
That sounds lovely.
mathsgeek69 8
your wife sounds like a *****
Cathrin 26
That's not a healthy relationship. Sex isn't everything, but that doesn't mean it's nothing. You might need to talk to her about that.
Sheepiebeepie 26
You're not getting any cause you call it that.
Diamond_don 18
The girl in the dream is always fine