Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
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Top comments
MeTheBeast 22
Well at least you got the spider! Right?
uglytwin 15
You've got a good arm! Try out for baseball.
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Comments (76)
uglytwin 15
You've got a good arm! Try out for baseball.
RenoTheRhino 30
Unless, of course, OP was aiming for the trash can.
subscript 15
Cricket
MeTheBeast 22
Well at least you got the spider! Right?
SubparAtBest 23
I bet it could survive that though... like she shoulda closed the book hard then she could be sure instead of just throwing it and breaking the tv.
Soparot 29
@22 She would be sure, but she would also have a smashed spider in her book.
beeferjay 34
all he wanted was a little kiss
zach205 24
Maybe you should of thrown the book at the spider not across the room
ShadowWolfoxImp 18
The spider was ON the book, dear.
tantanpanda 26
More like try to throw the book in a vacant direction with nothing in the line of fire.
SubparAtBest 23
or throw it into a line of fire. possibly the fire place o.o
zach205 24
@12 Yea, I misread the fml
ShadowWolfoxImp 18
It's okay. :) Everyone misreads stuff. It happens all the time.
wolfeltopia 12
Actually the calm rational thing to do would've been to close the book on the spider.
marcranger 29
No, the calm, rational thing to would've been to have the house firebombed.
Sorsay 15
It was on the outside of the book though.
chinaski7628 32
Use the book to smash the spider on the floor or something.
xxcmb3k3xx 21
We all would have done the same thing
MGC501 13
Honestly, this seems like a probable YDI. Why not just drop your book, next to you, crushing the spider? Oh well, hope you can afford a new TV! (Or survive without one.)
JayGatsby 25
I actually understand OP. A lot of people are terrified by spiders (including me) and if I saw something I was terrified of next to me, I would act in the moment and throw the book. A good, but probably extreme, way to think about this is if someone was held at gun point. He/she probably won't focus on stuff like what type of gun the shooter is holding because he/she is most likely more concerned with getting killed.
I_Like_Dogs 28
One cannot be rational when facing a spider.
Steffi3 40
Maybe next time, calmly and rationally aim for something other than the telly?
sweetmadness 9
can a book throw really break a TV?
PsychicBulwark 4
You can break a flat screen with a pen. They're not built to take damage. Weird, huh?
JonathanKG 12
If you have a fireplace, I would recommend that instead.