Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Home sweet home
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Mommy dearest
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Dazed and confused
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Get back here!
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Mom! Stop!
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Top comments
BingleBop 18
At least the lawn is clean now?
ElementaryEdGuy 18
I need to clean my house. Maybe I should get drunk for motivation.
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Comments (129)
foxwasalamb 24
next she'll be using the toaster oven to boil water, dishwasher to do laundry, the fridge as a hamper, etc.
wvcheesehead 13
Not the worst thing she could have been sucking on the lawn.
annequenneville_fml 27
Hahahahah there goes the dirt
Britterz 12
I wear my Batman footy pajamas,get on Omegle, and look for the Joker when I get drunk. Sometimes drunk minds just don't have the most logic behind their "great" ideas.
X_red 10
We've all been there.
shawnsavage 9
Just think of all the dirt she's picking up! Wait....
shawnsavage 9
Hey I don't see the problem here! Just a little spring cleaning, you know like vacuum the lawn, mow the living room, dust the driveway, mop the roof, sweep the walls, it's all getting clean in the end!
rosso700 14
I guess mowing got too hard
annunaki_fml 11
oh what fresh hell that mustve been. should have escorted her to the closest carpet. happycrazysad!
notmepleade 8
I actually laughed out loud