Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
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Top comments
maliki32 7
I feel so sorry for you, OP. Nobody should ever have to go through any of that!
GothicAngel17 24
Stupid woman, vibrators are expensive! (For those who are retarded, it's a damn joke)
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Comments (109)
Weirdo007 0
sit down n have a talk with her....she's obviously depressed =(
MetalxSoldier 26
When she gets arrested, tell her to look at the camera and say "I'm white trash, and I'm in trouble" (South Park joke)
zandalee 20
No seriously guys, this woman is in trouble! Throwing your vibrator out of the window is a loud cry for help.
spazz666 18
Depressed? She may or may not be. She might've been depressed the first day she did this, and now she's just drunk all the time. We don't know if OP's mother is bothered by unemployment, she could just be having a ball drinking all the time. I'd say OP should hide all the alcohol while she's passed out, and find a number for the closest drug and alcohol rehabilitation center and have one of the councilors come to her house to talk to her mother when she wakes up.
meihua 19
Of she drinks enough alcohol the sudden absence will make her eve worse
Marcelb 17
21 - Pabst Blue Ribbon ? ;)
maliki32 7
I feel so sorry for you, OP. Nobody should ever have to go through any of that!
Mideoyeo 12
Agreed! I think you should help her try to find a job or help her get rehab.
citymayer 7
Or just kick her out!!! It'll hurt her feelings sure but if she can flip a sofa she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It doesn't matter if she's OPs mom. She's still a grown woman and needs to take of herself.
Mideoyeo 12
It says she's unemployed..idk what kind of person you are but if one of my parents were unemployed I would never kick them out...but after they get employed..well thats a different story.
StillUsesMyspace 22
It's also possible that the OP is underage and the drunken unemployed mother is In charge of the rent. After all, the OP was kicked out by the mom.
sexygurllolz 1
she's one classy woman
boofgall 16
Kind of a tasteless comment, don't you think?
sexygurllolz 1
im being sarcastic but obviously everyone has a stick up their ass
AbbyAbyss 5
15- Jeez. I hope not. I would be SO constipated.
laden_swallow09 35
15- We realize you're being sarcastic. We also realize you weren't that funny.
mikepattonfan 0
Nice profile pic - your hot!
hockeyoceancity 13
15- It's not a stick, it's the vibrator OP's mom threw outside.... Free uses.
westcoastkp 13
you're even classier with that screen name . "sexygurllolz" wtf -___-
Linkisomnivore 8
Bahahaha
furordei 2
Has more class than you clearly.
sexygurllolz 1
go f*ck yourselves lol
hahachun 4
Giggity.
GuessWhatKids 13
No.
sweetly1120 6
Slap her into her senses
mashimarox 12
The bitch needs some rehab.
toooldforthis 19
Yep, because anyone who throws their vibrator out the window is crazy!
TarieBoo 2
"it's a bird!" "it's a plane!" ".....it's my mom's *****."
ihatethesenamez 6
"you never want to talk" *buzzz* "**** YOU!!!" *throws it out the window*
PizzaRollsss 5
They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said no no no!
lifesabrees932 1
That's what unemployment will do to some people, Im really sorry OP, that sounds devastating... Maybe time to put the job search in full gear? Just anything to keep her ocupied and away from heavy drinking would help
GothicAngel17 24
Stupid woman, vibrators are expensive! (For those who are retarded, it's a damn joke)
TarieBoo 2
Finally a sarcastic comment that was actually funny&and a real joke :D
SqueakyChipmunk 22
*next foot* "Ow! What the--Honey, the next door neighbors are throwing vibrators again!"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Door* not foot. o.o
jrsylilballer6 7
Is it that time of the month again?
allidspy911 1
Jeeze -_- chill. It's called a joke. No explanation is required...
laden_swallow09 35
Again, as with 3, we realize it's a joke. We also realize it's not that funny. Besides, the sarcasm in this one is ambiguous.
marmlr339 14
Stupid comments cannot later be justified as "a joke."
allidspy911 1
A joke IS a joke. Nobody said it was good...
Everlastingx 6
8- What about the poor sofa? You know, they have feelings too..
gracehi 33
Like that poor broken hearted armchair that couldn't live out its destiny as seat for weary bottoms. :(