Anonymous
New York, United States
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Deadcat101
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Winnipeg, Canada
Home sweet home
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
driverboy
United States
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
ouch
United States
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Ohkourt
Mommy dearest
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
AnastasiyaNicholas
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Dazed and confused
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Get back here!
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Anonymous
Mom! Stop!
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
No-Sleep Nellie
Waterloo, United States
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Top comments
BingleBop 18
At least the lawn is clean now?
ElementaryEdGuy 18
I need to clean my house. Maybe I should get drunk for motivation.
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Comments (129)
chocolatefrog28 29
At least she tries to do things that would be useful. My father crab walks backwards around our pool table "singing" his favorite Led Zeppelin songs when he's toasted.
gracehi 33
That's really impressive that he can do that when he's drunk. He must be a friggin ninja when he's sober.
Axel5238 29
That's incredible, you have to put that online.
amisenho 11
How, exactly, does one crab-walk backwards?
715chiefs 15
"Can't have dirty garbage!" - Spongebob Squarepants
communisttaco 16
"I love you." -Patrick Star
classiceagle63 16
That must have sucked.
trystand00 10
Ha. I get it
VirtualPrince 5
W-well the grass is clean.
beaverteaser 16
at least she didn't try to mow the living room
Chellybelly92 14
Haha trying to cut down that out dated shag rug.
itwasthedognotme 14
At least she isn't trying to mow your living room or something...
TheNiceOne 20
Maybe she'll start washing the tv.
cryssycakesx3 23
I just thought of the FML where the guys maid washed his xbox
Shadowsofthedead 10
"Mom! Come on! You're supposed to use the shag carpet setting on the lawn! Geez." I'm sorry to hear your mother isn't using your vacuum correctly. :(
beckshniddley 10
Poor woman!
buckdharma 38
She's a little late with her spring cleaning.