Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML
Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I found out the "free" protein bars at my gym are actually for a fundraiser for children's cancer. I've been taking one every day for the past two weeks. FML
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Top comments
mismonroe 0
Well, at least they have a marketing strategy. Good for them.
artc91 0
Re-open the door and show them what happens when a fat bitch is insulted.
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Comments (197)
stormchaser24 24
sorry op first?
mismonroe 0
Well, at least they have a marketing strategy. Good for them.
artc91 0
Re-open the door and show them what happens when a fat bitch is insulted.
baddud300 6
Next time they come back tell them to wait at the door while you grab some money. THEN RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
dolphincheddar 10
well, sadly its stereotyped that obese people have more of a tendency to eat unhealthy foods becuase in around half the cases it's the reason for obesity. even if it's not your reason, you did a good deed and now u have candy, fat or not everyone loves candy. so it's not terrible. and if your worried about your weight try a diet or something? idk. have a break. have a kitkat.
daBeast155 0
well you know you have a problem if you buy again from them next week
MizzErikaHart 8
"break me off a piece of that kitkat bar!!"
trevishere 7
Turn the sprinklers on...[=
MrSousa10 8
mismonroe your right they're making mad money
Glitterhinoceros 14
Who honestly cares if you were called fat by children, you have candy >.>...
OffTJHook3r 2
next time eat the candy and don't payB)
TayonaC 10
Or you could 'accidentally' let your vicious dog outside.
MrSousa10 8
that's a really good idea
scarletdragonfly 5
Sounds like something I would say... *shame*
OneNightStan 2
take a hint go n work out!
lbumbblebee 5
who cares what those kids say! You got yourself a chocolate bar.
daisyloo 7
Two chocolate bars;)
RetardedBullFrog 4
21, your comments recently kinda makes me wanna buy stuff . . .
powderpuffjord13 0
hahahaha this girls bio is eat me hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha..
AnonymousCoolGuy 0
I once read a story about a porno that involved girl scouts. true story.
UnicornHunter 12
Wrong, they sell cookies.
selbow 3
it's times like these.. you need minties
jewfro311 0
Eat them.
heilheather 7
bellyflop on them
KayDayParade 0
can I question why your photo is a picture of a beagle pointing...saying you got it babe..
Monkeythief5 0
Dang, my generation is a sad bunch. :O
HouseKeeping 0
-135 The children or the candy bars? I'm not sure which I would enjoy more.
iEatDinosaurs14 0
what the hell does that have to do with anything.?.
tal26ful 0
Haha I would hire them if I were a marketing director. But they weren't very smart to say it RIGHT after the door closed.
Lahariim 8
I'm... shall we say, tall from side to side not to mention 6'1. I would advise buying ALL the candy next time! With funny money, naturally. Back when my mother were a Girl Scout, they went camping... Now they visit malls sooo...
MrXerxes5 6
it's not like they were lying fatty!
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha it's ****** up, but it is common knowledge...
avatar0810 15
where do you live that girl scouts sell candy bars?
TheRealBruce 12
New York it says it on the post.
Tektite 14
Lol those are some wicked girl scouts..
chessypie 0
wow
mchakkiwala 0
you did your "deed" and the girls did theirs?
monkeylove13 0
no they didn't
KarWitz 0
Well, kids don't lie.
iLoveBoobies21 0
You're 110% wrong.
MizzErikaHart 8
I bet these girls in the post weren't lying...
Molord1 0
42- just stfu. your comment was unnecessary and stupid.
k8izgr8_fml 0
64- wow. someones overly sensitive
HeroicPeanut 3
76 you got that right!
forest1wolf 9
64- I'm guessing your a "fat bitch"
leearm104 4
I bet 64 is a fat ass.
MissCuteStack 12
you guys are so rude stop telling people their fat look in the damn mirrior you don't even know if she is fat so shut up And learn à 7 letter word dalles RESPECT !!!!
ghostlysnipes 1
haha
Oreogasm 5
kids are awfully ungrateful these days.
Doortje 30
Wow. That is just.. wow. The stupid ***** would make my blood boil so badly that they'd better get the **** away from me.
weird_little_kid 0
HAHAHAHA
MizzErikaHart 8
you shouldn't care that much about what a couple lil brats say. u must have anger possibly even rage issues
MizzErikaHart 8
you shouldn't care that much about what a couple lil brats say. u must have anger possibly even rage issues
Doortje 30
Don't you ******* talk to me, you ******! **** you in the ass, you freaking bitch. Oh, that late already? Time for my therapy. See ya.
BeastNerd 3
And modded in three, two, one.. ;)
Doortje 30
Keep on counting and have a nice day.
jellitonoctopus 19
hahaha!!
Cheylea 10
hilarious!
omgcookeys 15
aww, you called girl scouts *****! a little harsh...
LadyClarik 8
Your vulgar use of the word "freaking" is just disappointing, Doortje....What the **** is up with that? Although, I am ecstatic that for once, somebody on this site can hurl insults that are grammatically correct.
chrisauh 4
129, Don't be a **** dear.
padpie 0
I like you
Lahariim 8
I have a 'cat'apult for that very reason.
junz_fml 0
Wow. But at least you will enjoy them?