Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
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Top comments
alki_fml 5
I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
megabstr 0
Today, I finally got to watch a movie after 3 months in hospital. I didn't feel very well since the air conditioner was too strong, and suddenly some girls started throwing things at me for no reason. I had to go back to the hospital that night. FML
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Comments (430)
Jimboom 12
Trying to usurp the King #23 ? ;-)
King_of_Kings_2 0
hey #23 my main account was banned. but i learned my lesson. i was harsh a few times. but i still want to comment. so, yeah. i will use my back up account until my main account is active again in 7 days. and i promise to follow the comment rules with both this account and my main account. i also want to apologize to fmylife. if its possible to have my King_of_Kings account unbanned, that would be great. i promise to follow the comment rules.
KingAwesome 0
And while I'm here, here's a bowdlerized version of my post, since evidently there are people here who don't like swear words despite there being one right in the website's name: You seriously threw popcorn at the guy? That's a waste of time and effort. You should have thrown sharpened or explosive objects; they would have silenced him much more efficiently.
brittanyg93 0
you're an ass
thBeastALLSTAR2 0
well your mean
King_of_Kings_2 0
#27 you can't blame me for trying. but, it is only 7 days. i don't check my email that much. so, i didn't know about the warnings. but i know now that i did wrong. i will try my best to watch my language.
King_of_Kings_2 0
BEHOLD THE KING! THE KING OF KINGS! ALL HAIL! BOW DOWN TO THE KING!
bezach 0
king of ass kicking...grats your now the ass
arms_akimbo 0
You suck.
greenman_fml 0
If you were a true king you would send those wenches to the guillotine for disrespecting the elderly. Or maybe make them your wives first.
pinaypie 0
If the "breathing" disturbed you guys, the incident should have been reported. I'm sure the staff would have done something about that...but throwing popcorns? Sorry, but it's a YDI moment.
LemonandLime 13
What would they do? Kick out the disabled man because hes apparently being a nuisance by breathing loudly due to his illness? No chance. He has more right to be there as obnoxious girls who thrown popcorn.
teentee401 37
I assume they could complain and the staff would explain to OP and her friend about the breathing tube.
were_giraffe 2
That was NOT mature. Hell, he should have had you kicked out for abuse.
King_of_Kings_2 0
#31 good idea. since i already have my eyes on a girl. off with their heads.