Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
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Top comments
alki_fml 5
I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
megabstr 0
Today, I finally got to watch a movie after 3 months in hospital. I didn't feel very well since the air conditioner was too strong, and suddenly some girls started throwing things at me for no reason. I had to go back to the hospital that night. FML
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Comments (430)
Jareth_fml 0
Jerks!
Finnboghi 0
Don't flatter yourselves; you're just a bunch of bitches. Be ashamed.
Yunie_fml 0
I agree with 62. You should've looked back, and at least attempted to tell him to stop before throwing stuff at him. Besides, even if he didn't have the tube, how do you know he would be breathing at you and your friends? Doesn't sound like you're very appealing.
toli_fml 0
this is the funniest FML i have ever read
xatm092 0
What the hell is pervy breathing? Because some is breathing heavily, they must be a pervert? That makes no sense. There are several reasons why a person could be breathing loudly other than "he must be looking at the back of my head in a lustful manner!" I hope you've learned your lesson not to judge people for such ridiculous reasons.
FriendlyShadows 0
#16 common decency....I stopped reading after that one...hm... I love when people put the word common in front of something like that. You should really reconsider the way you worded that sentence. No, it's not right to throw things at people, but when you think about it, had she simply thrown the popcorn at a pervert, every person who's comment was negative toward the writer, would be something more like "Ya, you show him girl, way to stand up for yourself!" But back to the common decency thing. There is no such thing. Being decent towards someone else is no longer common, in case you haven't noticed. It is something very few people have taught their children and something very few people use on a regular basis. I am almost sure that had you been in the same sort of situation, not knowing, remember, that the man was in a wheel chair, you would have done the same thing had it gotten annoying enough. Or at the very least you would have been annoyed by it and then wouldn't you feel bad, even though you hadn't said anything? You have sort of handed her a double-edged sword, don't you think? There was no way for her to have known that the man was in a wheel chair until AFTER she had turned around. And I am sorry that people did that to your father, but you really shouldn't relate an accident to something that was a deliberate act against a man in a wheelchair. That would be like saying someone is racist for bumping into a black man in the grocery store and then relating them to the drunk man outside beating the shit out a man BECAUSE he is black. Think about that the next time you use such a strong word as hate, which, by the way, is not decent at all, and maybe you will learn to keep you ******* mouth shut.
sjweezy 0
that is horriblee
formosababie 0
oh shit i hope you guys at least apologized before bailing...
gogogor 0
I really love it when the world shows a bunch of self-obsessed ****** that not every guy around them wants a piece of them.
username22 0
Jimboom, king of kings, king awesome- I have been reading this site for about an hour or so because I can't sleep. I have just created an account simply so that I can tell you to GET A LIFE, NOBODY CARES you are soooo not awesome, and statements like "all hail the king of kings" are extremely blasphemous and disrespectful, but I doubt you care. night losers, FYL