Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
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Top comments
alki_fml 5
I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
megabstr 0
Today, I finally got to watch a movie after 3 months in hospital. I didn't feel very well since the air conditioner was too strong, and suddenly some girls started throwing things at me for no reason. I had to go back to the hospital that night. FML
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Comments (430)
Jaywin 3
Let's not be too full of ourselves, OP. You hear heavy breathing and you assume it's pervy. You hear it's a guy and since you're all girls, you assume the guy has the hots for you. You need to get over yourselves and stop thinking you're such hot shit.
msupky 0
You have eyes, don't you? Was it really that hard to turn around and see what he was doing? Grow the hell up. If I was the guy in the wheelchair, I would've told the person next to me to punch you in the face. Then, feel free to post on FML about your broken nose for being a total douche.
npk88 0
That's horrible....you should be ashamed of yourself.
FoundManyLemons 0
You are not the center of the world. Every heavy breath is not a lustful gasp at you. Every glance not desirous. Most people who even look at you are not even thinking about you in passing.
Ouchie_fml 0
i think it is hilarious.
themungjuice 0
wow, if he bothered you so much, get up and move. you guys should have definately apologized. thats messed up, and you're probably going to hell.
abcdefgh_fml 0
awwww poor kid! Maybe you guys should look before you throw next time!
qwertyuiop8989 0
Karma is a bitch and will pay you guys back dearly for what you did. I hope you all have shitty lives from now on. :)
tlee 0
I'm with #35 on this one. The fact that you consider this to be an example of how bad YOUR life is shows just how conceited you really are. Grow up. YDI
Capybara 0
I bet you were so proud of yourself, too.