Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
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Top comments
Lauren324 18
That's sweet, in a disgusting way...
Amrel 10
The next step to loving a man, is to love his farts
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Comments (254)
cooldaddio 14
Keeper.
alsgirl 24
Bittersweet? Heheh shitter-sweet ;-)
hardonforjesus 10
No. Just... no.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Better lock him up
cash_monkey72 9
Ah farts, it doesn't get more romantic, does it?
TrollololSlayer 3
MARRY HIM
Savra_fml 17
On the bright side OP, your relationship is going in the right direction, albeit a little fadt. Usually it takes several months before you reach the "it's OK to fart inf ront of eachother" stage. If he lets them rip for you now, imagine what he would be able to do for you in the future?
DocBastard 40
You got it all wrong. That wasn't a reassuring look. That was a "TOP THAT, WOMAN! I AM THE GAS KING!" look.
redbluegreen 41
Are you sure? It could have been a "I will lure you in with my one of a kind romantic butt scent" look. The sound effects were just a bonus.
mommapanda 0
Let the farting contests begin!
RedPillSucks 33
It did seem like a "Challenge accepted" moment.
xminixlovex 6
aww he's such a sweet guy...(; he covers up for you.(:
dre9889 4
I'm sure you wanted to stay around after that
midoridoll 3
Ooh my gosh that boy is so sweet, keep him around a little to make sure that wasn't just an act hun