Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
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Top comments
Lauren324 18
That's sweet, in a disgusting way...
Amrel 10
The next step to loving a man, is to love his farts
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Comments (254)
nadhirah 4
That's just totally sweet of him. He could've easily laughed and made fun of you but instead he did that so that he'd appear more gross than you. You gotta love a guy like that :) lucky you
cookie_crumble89 11
That's kinda cute and yet disgusting
Pentium_4 27
i can just picture the look on his face. i'm sure it was something like *me gusta* cause if he let one out right away then i'm sure he wanted to anyways
Country29 16
Haha you know he did!! Despite the smell, thats adorable
Pelreskovich 11
That's actually a good thing isn't it? He was attempting to comfort you, even though it was an extremely awkward situation.. He deserves a kiss or two!
GoW_Chick 15
Aww that's so cute, he was making sure you wouldn't be the butt of anyone jokes, can't you just smell the love.
Amrel 10
Its smells like teen spirit
YDIbigtimebro 4
Smells like Nirvana
ronski 41
spot on #16, he would've let rip anyway, but all in all, it was a good ice breaker
Pentium_4 27
no doubt!
falling4youxo 7
That's sweet of him! Most guys would have laughed or left. You've got a keeper on your hands, OP.
IntenseGas 0
You look like the "Sittin On the Toilet" chick.
Ikickmidgets 11
He's a keeper, don't **** it up!
Bassex 0
He should know better than that; girls never fart or burp.
elinhjortskull 7
What are you talking about? We're not aliens, we fart just as much as you do.
4rmMiami 4
Us girls fart more then you men we just don't do it in front of u!!!!!
redbluegreen 41
I thought everyone knew girls don't fart, burp, or perform any unsightly bodily functions. At most, they hiccip glitter and exhale rainbows.
Savra_fml 17
27, 54....A lady has learnt the art of etiquette and discretion, concepts that many guys are unable to fathom. It is all an illusion.
laden_swallow09 35
I think that's in reference to a certain College Humor internet video
RedPillSucks 33
redbluegreen hiccups glitter and burps rainbows. She poops skittles and her pee is champagne. When she farts, care bears hug each other... True story bros...
redbluegreen 41
Shhh. RPS, I thought we were going to keep that private!
emogirl88 2
That's not true. We do but most don't around guys they like
Dracoboxer357 36
OP, the guy made the best out of a possibly embarrassing situation for you, and considering how kind he was about something was silly or nasty farting can be, imagine how thoughtful he may be when it truly matters. :) Give this guy a chance, he may be the real deal.
desireev 18
I always LOVE reading what you have to say!! Always so positive! It just makes my day! You among like 3 other commenters are my favorite of them all. Your positive attitude has changed my opinion of this site, for sure! :)
GoW_Chick 15
I love that the first part of your comment rhymed lol. Was that on purpose or a happy accident? ... And thumbs up 31 for positivity. :)
RipSchitz 0
That has to be the gayest photo I've ever seen. And what you said was minimal at best.
Dracoboxer357 36
Thank you Desireev, now you just made my day too! I'll try to keep the happy vibe going. :D And I had no idea I was rhyming for part of my reply GoW_Chick, total fluke. ;) Bleh.