Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, like every month, I'm able to tell when my period is going to come, down to the exact day. It becomes increasingly smelly, even before I've started, to the point where everyone around me can barely stand it. I can't do anything to get rid of the stench before it's actually started. FML
Today, I realized that sometimes when I sneeze, I pee a little. I’m 28 years-old and I've never had kid; I’m even a virgin. This shouldn’t be happening. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I went to my GP to discuss my anxiety. As I was explaining my symptoms, I accidentally farted loudly due to my nervousness. The doctor paused and said, "Well, let's address that as well." FML.
Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TCRII 30
Think of it a celebration. Yay, my period is over. Pbllfft...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Just go to one. I don't think there is anything about the human body that a doctor has never seen before.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Just go to one. I don't think there is anything about the human body that a doctor has never seen before.
raven_of_azarath 35
When I was little, the little bump of bone that connected my collar bone to that little u shaped bone below my neck clicked when I moved my shoulder. My doctor was clueless as to why it happened and what to do about it. But OP’s problem sounds like something a doctor would know how to handle.
TCRII 30
Think of it a celebration. Yay, my period is over. Pbllfft...
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Period's over! Let's get some Barry White going!"
AmbrosiaFan 19
doctors have heard of all sorts of things like this. talk to one.
slkeithh 14
It's likely to do something with your tampon usage or method of insertion. Air is somehow building up inside..
Anastasiia Bogolepova 10
Came here to write this. It happens to me when I too quickly insert a period cup and don't release the air
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
more embarrassed than dealing with uncontrolable queefs in public?
manb91gb 15
Belive me honey, he's seen worse than an over-enthusiastic ******..
alycion 39
Oh please see a doctor and record the conversation. Hopefully as your period ends.
hellphone_fml 37
This sometimes happens when I wear a pad and move around too much.
Deadputz57 4
What you experience is not unknown to medical science. Basically, it's Ketchup Bottle Syndrome. Much like people who keep squeezing the ketchup bottle after it is effectively empty, your uterus does the same thing, expelling air and causing the queefing. The best advice I have is that you record the phenomenon, loop it, and make a beat-box video about it.