Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket for three things and repeated them to myself the whole way there. I came home with everything except those three things. I did remember to buy a cake I hadn't planned on getting. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML
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Top comments
doink 0
It could have been worse. You could have bought $30 of cat food and a Snickers bar.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Mr. Snuggle Mittens would like to have a word with you regarding your TPS reports...
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Comments (74)
CallMeHush 1
Google Heidi the Becon Hill cat lady, please don't turn into her.
Residence_fml 4
YDI, it's not like this is a point of no return. Go out with some friends and don't be embaressed to flirt with a guy, when you want something you got to get it yourself don't feel shame or else don't bitch about it. Good luck with it.
FerrariCake 2
Hey, at least you're not THAT OTHER single woman who only buys cat food... but doesn't have a cat.
Orlinda 2
ummm yea thank god I'm not that lonely
irishwhiskey91 0
hey eat those protein bars, work em off. get trim, feed your cats and hit a club! go from THAT single woman, to THAAAT single woman ;)
Emperor_Jim 0
Consider suicide.
Secret_Fire_King 0
haha.. thats a bit harsh.. considering all the recent suicide-related FMLs..
jillz 0
Keep doing what you're doing. Don't change a thing and maybe you can avoid being THAT single mom.
wh4t3v3R 0
Oh, I thought the cat food was for her, hence the paring with her protein bars.
allmidnighteyes 11
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
Luckster 0
So you have a cat and you're single. So flippin what? You're not THAT single woman until you have 5+ cats that didn't come from the same litter and still want more 'precious babies'.