Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket for three things and repeated them to myself the whole way there. I came home with everything except those three things. I did remember to buy a cake I hadn't planned on getting. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML
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Top comments
doink 0
It could have been worse. You could have bought $30 of cat food and a Snickers bar.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Mr. Snuggle Mittens would like to have a word with you regarding your TPS reports...
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Comments (74)
neko_ceko 3
You eat cat food? jk
Aska_fml 0
Those dudes at District 9 eat cat food.
perdix 31
Write back when you descend to the next level of THAT single woman. You know, the one whose grocery store purchases are only a cucumber and Vaseline. And we'll be expecting pics that time.
applesmoothiee 2
^this
smrtblkguy 0
why so many protein bars?
Phoenix0614 0
No time to eat in the OR :-(
nadsm 0
@18 hahahahahaha.
Newbie21 1
lol @ 18
yakturk43 0
you made yourself into that pathetic excuse for a woman. YDI
RushFanatic 0
Hmm... #22, if she's such a poor excuse for a woman, maybe she could go& work out with Vera DiMilo.
blankslate 0
*sweat drop* *sweat drop* "ACK!"
PhillyFox 0
And since you chose to become THAT women, why are you complaining? If it bothers you that much, change!
i_am_tiff_21 0
Aww. I would most likely become that single woman too.
AwesomeAndy 0
But you're cute, don't think like that
davidhasmorefun 0
this is why I don't date women with cats. dogs are alot better and you can actually meet people in the park! my advice? buy a dog
Spadoinkle 10
Not everyone wants a dog. I like dogs, but I prefer cats because they are more independent, and I don't have to let them out or back inside in the middle of the night. Also, they don't bark and annoy the shit out of me every time something moves. And, I'm also anti-social, so cats > dogs and parks.