Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket for three things and repeated them to myself the whole way there. I came home with everything except those three things. I did remember to buy a cake I hadn't planned on getting. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML
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Top comments
doink 0
It could have been worse. You could have bought $30 of cat food and a Snickers bar.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Mr. Snuggle Mittens would like to have a word with you regarding your TPS reports...
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Comments (74)
Jaded4good 0
Either you can cope with living alone, and stick to your cats, or you find them a new home and adopt a dog. Walking it three times a day makes you fit, healthy, happy and it gets you to meet some dog-walking guys. You're welcome.
devondv 5
Lets talk about single. My saturday night was spent at wal mart buying a slow cooker. i made my first real dinner though. I made a fantastic pot roast with veggies and gravy (not a gravy fan but you have to make it). you will still feel really single when it is done but your belly will be full.
taycandy96 2
eewwww cat girl...ur gonna be an old cranky woman with 32 cats.....get a boyfriend...HURRY!!!!!!
jonny2x4 0
Wow. You sound like a prize. Are you hot?
monicab 0
hahahaajahahahhahaha
spiritdragon 2
Simple solution to get out of that rut: drown your cats and get a dog. A real dog, not one of those "toy" breed things.
Adventure_Time 5
agreed
Spadoinkle 10
That's terrible. How about drowning your dog, you ass.
poorgurl 0
I'm right there with you.
metrockick10 0
I don't understand the dog vs cat mentality. I have a dog, and a cat and work out five days a week and buy protein bars to eat on the way to the gym from work since I don't have time to eat an actual meal. So yeah, why is this such a bad thing. Unless this was your only grocery trip of the week, and the last substantial conversation you can remember was with your cat and you were arguing about the dissolution of the traditional family unit with him, then you should be alright.
tisiphone_fml 0
And even if you were, as long as you're happy, I guess...
firehana 0
dont worry I am that kinda woman and only some times do I ever realize its bad. as long as it makes you happy keep trucking
ZeroMan42 0
Then FYL too!
YOGIBEAR0131 0
Sounds like how my aunt used to beq LMAO FYL.