Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I was at my boss's house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4-foot cake before passing out. FML
Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
zrhcrx 0
it's called learning your limit bud...do you still have a job?
McLaughlane 0
damn...YDI for not knowing when to stop. Especially around your boss.
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Comments (123)
boer 0
Sucks. There are nights you don't wanna get drunk, but once you get tipsy you just say **** it and keep drinking. I had it last week at my birthday party, I missed a whole bunch of guests who were there just for me.
ExpectationsFail 0
Wow... just wow...
that_guy_you_are 0
I also drew a penis on the back of your neck while you were passed out. NAAAH I just traced the outline of my own :D
barc0001 1
You totally deserved it. You do NOT get drunk in front of your boss. You REALLY do not get drunk if your boss has "some people he does business with" around. You sound like my old roommate. His company bought a ton of Sun equipment back in the .com days and they wanted to take the sysadmin team out to their private suite at the hockey game as a nice little thank you. One of the guys couldn't go so my roommate got invited instead. He proceeded to drink everything in sight, blacked out and then called me collect from Seattle which is 140 MILES from Vancouver, BC and across an international border, wanting me to come get him. The story we got later from the rest of the team was that after everyone left, the Sun guys took my roommate and got him into a cab, gave the cabbie a corporate credit card# and told the cabbie to follow his directions home since they sure as hell didn't know where he lived. At this point apparently my roommate managed to get the cabbie to take him to Seattle. Ten years later and the first thing anyone who worked at that company thinks of when they hear my exroommate's name is Seattle. Moral of the story, don't drink your face off.
rachelxx 0
wow! YDI, but all you can do is learn from this situation and hope that you still have a job, and try and make it up to your boss. i don't think that you will doing it again. if you do then you are a true idiot.
Panicattackx5 0
You really deserve that.
KAMELOT_fml 0
you are the master of self-control dude!
ladywaldo 0
And probably NO job
akiro525 3
just be glad if you are still employed.
um_duh 0
My god you are a dumbass. Its one thing to have access to an open bar but another to abuse it to the point of oblitheration. If you still have a job I congratulate you but if you got so drunk you can't remember what happened, signs point to you probably saying things you regret today... In any case YDI - and the monumental hangover you probably have today!