Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, without any warning from my body whatsoever, I had to go to the bathroom at work to puke. I was then fired for being ‘drunk’ at work. I wasn’t drunk, just sick. FML
Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML
Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML
Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML
Today, I went to work hungover. I was in the back room by myself and thought I could trust a fart. I was so very wrong, and on my own for the next three hours and couldn't go home. FML
Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML
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Top comments
Mayaaaaaaaaa 12
You might want to seek help for alcoholism, OP
ajh1800 25
It seems like there have been a lot of alcoholics on here lately. Instead of coming on FML to complain (it's not likely you'll get much sympathy here), perhaps you guys should get together in AA?
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Comments (10)
ajh1800 25
It seems like there have been a lot of alcoholics on here lately. Instead of coming on FML to complain (it's not likely you'll get much sympathy here), perhaps you guys should get together in AA?
bloopaloop 27
I can see why they fired you. How many days have you been doing this?
Mayaaaaaaaaa 12
You might want to seek help for alcoholism, OP
RichardPencil 32
Plot twist: he worked at a brewery.
BurnInDemonFire 39
It does sound like a very Peter Griffin-esque thing to happen. Actually, I think this has happened in one or more episodes of Family Guy.
RichardPencil 32
It reminded me of the old joke. A brewery worker delivered the bad news to the widow that her husband had drowned in a beer vat. She shrieked, “He never had a chance!” The worker replied, “I don’t want to contradict you, but he did get out twice to take a piss.”
mr_dinzaster 16
Yeah seriously go back but get slammered drunk first
alycion 39
You mean to tell me that none of you thinking drinking problem ever got bombed out of your mind on a bad day even if you don’t normally drink. I may have a beer every three years. When my contract job ended, we all sat on the beach at a bar and got beyond drunk. None of us drove and none of us needed an AA meeting. It’s not uncommon to do this after losing a job, if it’s a good one.
shannon2348 14
It sounds like you got fired for a very good reason. ydi