Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML
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Top comments
JFurr 9
He's just nervous in his own skin around your parents. So he tried taking it off.
SovietBarney 8
He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.
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Comments (104)
LuckyLynx7732 5
Perhaps you gave them to him and didn't know it at the moment. That happened with my girlfriend and I. We were both like "what the hell?"
SoultheWolf 19
People need to understand something, there is a MAJOR difference from sex scratches down the back, someone who scratches your back (or himself) cause it itches, and cat scratches. Sex scratches will always be straight down and usually around the same area. If you're itchy the scratches wont be very visible, it will be more like a large red area because your'e stratching all over the place to get the itch. As for cat scratches, seriously? Have you people ever been scratched by a cat? They look NOTHING like fingernail scratches. The wound forms/heals differently and they are going to be very close together, not spread out like a human's hand. They will also be in several places (if the cat is mad and attacking him) and if it was an accidental scratch (like he's pickign it up and it claws into him to not fall) it will be in a small area, usually in the shoulder. I know this from experince since. I've had a cat shred my back before because my friend scared him and I was tryign to get him out of the room, it was almost as if I took a razor to my back and sliced it up, same thing happened to my left wrist too. It's not hard to distinguish the difference... I hope OP can and if he is cheating on her dump his sorry ass.
howrudoin 11
Bahk scrachaa! Bahk scrachaa! Bahk scracha? Bahk scracha? (peter's voice)
bwzwally8 15
What the hell does coyly mean?
Bacontree 14
You decided to ask it here rather than google it, because...? "coy/koi/ Adjective: (esp. of a woman) 1. Making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring but is often regarded as irritating."
LadyJoker21 0
DAMN
shanskiness 2
Its probably not even what you thought it was
CarouselHeart 11
Both your sister and your boyfriend sound like jerks.
eatsleepjb 8
Don't jump to the conclusion that he's cheating on you. It could be from some sort if animal like his dog that jumped on him, or it could be from a previous girlfriend that he had before you. Also it could be from some sort of massage. You never know.
xNephilim 19
What? A previous girlfriend? From when, last night?
Dravite 9
I guess you could say that.. your relationship? it got scratched.
dakelly_t 2
It could have easily been something much worse. Sucks your sister is trying to start things,,,, but you must be smart enough to analyze sex scratches vs non sex ones.