Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML
Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML
Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML
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Top comments
kerrywoodwins20 2
Ask her on a date for compensation.
SauceySarah 30
They better give you a free drink!
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Comments (106)
pepsi_ftw 13
Call the cops and press charges
lonelyharts86 8
Today, I realized I have gone to the same bar every night for 12 years. FML That is what should have been written here.
KingCeltic77 18
It was a simple misunderstanding. It sucks that you got punched, but hey, they realized their mistake and your still allowed in.
jrugg15 5
Sue!
CrookedCook 14
OP, being an regular customer for 12 years just adds to the insult. The fact that they couldn't initially recognize you might mean they dont see you as a valued customer. Sure there are honest mistakes, but some things can't be forgotten. Hopefully you work things out with manager/owner and get drinks for life
BubbaJ80 11
I would ask for my drinks to be comped for a very long time
Kuramasan_fml 12
You have better had drinks on the house after that! XD
beebeeL 1
the real problem here is why you go to a bar after every work day ?? >.> also how do you not have cirrhosis, you may want to check that out.
Czech_Zidane 14
Did OP say that he drinks alcohol here? He might drink coca cola ;-)
Udyjay 1
it's really none of your business, and irrelevant.
iilovecokee 6
So...naturally you asked for free beer for life, right?
greeneye_fml 12
You should sue them for assault.