Kathryn
United States
Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Nelson, New Zealand
Mixed signals
Today, I got told I was too fat and needed to stop eating, because I need to lose weight. I was then given a full plate of food and had to eat it all. FML
pizza girl
Nettleton, United States
Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML
Anonymous
United States
All you can eat buffet of shit
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Pookie
Ironic
Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML
I apologize on behalf of my mother
United States
Helicopter parents
Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML
hadrienne's pall
Markham, Canada
Sorry, I didn't mean…
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Yuni
United States
Mom of the year
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Hahamaster333
Assumptions
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
drkate25
Enfield, United States
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
fuck
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Somerville, United States
Health and wellbeing
Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
Top comments
Ben360 6
Tell him to eff off!
ariannaimelda 7
Tell him it's an all you can eat buffet and the customer is always right! Dont feel bad OP. Eat, drink and be merry! :D
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Comments (185)
Livinia 11
He secretly wants your sweet ass.
LaughinStock 16
No, he wants op to leave or maybe I'm missing something
deathpotato 11
That doesn't make sense, but I agree with you.
sara_saturday 5
ah yes, mr. creosote. did they persuade you to have the "wafer-thin" mint?
perdix 31
**** off, I'm full!
aint_she_sweet 0
Haha this fml totally made me think of that
FMLephant 2
Did OP explode?
wheels6 0
yes. very nice. bringing up monty python in daily situations, me gusta.
lilmissdangerous 9
I would think the cook would be happy that people are enjoying the food
omgcookeys 15
Say "its all you can eat, jackass"
BostonBear 33
my thoughts exactly
scruffy_janitor5 1
Tell him to **** off and bring you a sandwich
perdix 31
You do know a restaurant is a business that aims to make money? I've heard that restaurateurs often ask the biggest pigs to not come back.
Rickilynn1 10
It's a buffet , you're supposed to eat all the food , that's why it's there.
perdix 31
Not exactly. They set the price based on amount of food that a "normal" person would eat. (They'd love it if you'd pay your money and leave without eating anything.) Pigs who eat lots of food cause them to lose money, so the restaurants don't mind offending them and asking them to leave and not come back.
Iknoweverything 29
If they can't handle someone eating more than a normal person would eat, they should either A) not offer a buffet or B) Raise their prices. I would lodge a complaint with a local newspaper... if you can't handle the occasional customer who eats more than what you plan on them eating (at an all-you-can-eat, no less) then you shouldn't be in the business.
jessesgirl14 16
Some people eat more than the normal person and some people eat less than the normal person... It should all balance out and the cook shouldn't be so rude!
captainbj2 0
Not exactly right...they price it on the average food, but some eat more and some eat less ... It averages out and telling people to stop eating is just a sign of poor business. Just like calling people pigs is a sign of poor character...
SPC117 5
EAT HIM!!!!
Glitterhinoceros 14
Smack him with your food
VeraJK 16
20 thumbs down? Lol, that's a record for me!
VeraJK 16
I didn't know that posted. I was trying to reply to my first comment -_-
Ann23 7
tell him to get back to work and mind his own business!! :)
perdix 31
Er, actually, the amount of food the OP is eating *IS* the cook's business and keeping an eye out for pigs is part of his work. You really have to go hog-wild at a buffet to draw attention.