Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's mom's horse barn. Then I stepped in horse poop. Also I am full of dust. Dusty boi. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
wolfe37 0
yeah you don't belong on a farm...stick to the city
GuyWithAGuitar 0
lMFAO. This could be a country song. Now alls that needs to happen is for your spouse to leave you and your dog to die.
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Comments (116)
g00nie 0
I'm going to call fake on this
FarSide 23
Welcome to the rest of the United States you Mass-Liberal. It is good for you to see how the rest of the Country really is.
kira822_fml 0
I've been shocked by a horse fence. It doesn't hurt! I almost wanted to do it again cause it felt so cool! xD
Zhombie 0
....So I'm guessing you're an M, right? (S&M)
starkes 0
Nahh bra
XOfiestypixie 0
*enter handsome older guy...probably Zac Effron* ZE: I'll save you! girl: Oh yay! My hero!
RPGod 0
You should try out some new fetishes!
bimmer09 0
kill yourself... easy solution
CJ090 0
Farm life isnt as glamorous as facebook makes it huh lmao
j_rock1981 0
Lmao! So true. **** the city. Green acres is the place for me...
thetraveler_fml 3
FYL for the first four, but you deserved the last one for not knowing the fence was electric. If the fence is made of horizontal metal wires that are not barbed and serve the purpose of keeping large animals in, there's a pretty good chance it's an electric fence.
Nex_Iuguolo 0
jah animals are smart, but the last one was OP's own fault
caltain 0
Yeah...I love the country too...
01100110 0
Somewhere in there you left out some important information and you deserve it.